Groomersexual
A groomersexual is a type of skier for whom precisely carving a well-groomed piste is their raison d'etre. Skiers that exhibit the groomersexual orientation tend to be Europeans from the Alps (France, Switzerland, Italy, and Austria) who attended ski school from a young age and continued to receive skiing lessons well into early adulthood. While groomersexuals are phenomenal skiers on a well-groomed piste, their ability to ski powder, trees, steeps, sastrugi or other variable conditions, and off-piste/backcountry is all but completely absent.
In Europe the groomersexual lifestyle is an accepted, albeit largely unperceived, part of the ski culture. Outside of Europe the groomersexual stands out like a sore thumb. Skiing powder, steeps, trees, and off-piste are very popular in North America, particularly western North America. As a result, groomersexuals that move to North America often struggle adapting to the ski culture. In North America, groomersexuals are known for complaining about the lack of formal ski instruction received by American and Canadian skiers.
In Europe the groomersexual lifestyle is an accepted, albeit largely unperceived, part of the ski culture. Outside of Europe the groomersexual stands out like a sore thumb. Skiing powder, steeps, trees, and off-piste are very popular in North America, particularly western North America. As a result, groomersexuals that move to North America often struggle adapting to the ski culture. In North America, groomersexuals are known for complaining about the lack of formal ski instruction received by American and Canadian skiers.
Skier 1: Dude! Summit is going to get 11” overnight. Tomorrow is going to be sick! I’ll be heading up super early if you, and any friends want to join.
Skier 2: Hell yeah! I’m down!
Skier 1: So just you? What about your new ski friend? That guy from Europe. Pierre?
Skier 2: I already asked him, and he said he was going to wait a few days for the post storm grooming.
Skier 1: Seriously?!?
Skier 2: Yup! Pierre is a groomersexual.
Skier 2: Hell yeah! I’m down!
Skier 1: So just you? What about your new ski friend? That guy from Europe. Pierre?
Skier 2: I already asked him, and he said he was going to wait a few days for the post storm grooming.
Skier 1: Seriously?!?
Skier 2: Yup! Pierre is a groomersexual.
Groomersexual by Helluva Engineer March 3, 2024
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