AKA Friut Fly
AKA Nature's Asshole
At birth, gnats are given three objectives in life that they feverishly carry out with as much enthusiasm as a swinger at a wife swap.
First, they must at all costs have an innate desire to locate the nostrils of homosapiens and fly straight in to them no matter how visiously they are swatted at.
Second, baring deflection from nostril penetration, they are given an intense sexual desire to mate with the human uvula. Typically the man or woman being attacked are so busy shouting obsenities at the gnat so as to allow easy access in to the mouth and straight to the back of the throat.
Third, they are drawn to the sweet, sweet odor of feces. This causes a high concentration of the little assholes where ever there is a place mired in shit, such as open sewage lines, and your work place.
Presently there is no way to destroy gnats permantly, however a good clapping of the hands have brought many a gnat to their compressed demise. In 1915 a Dutch farmer, after becoming violently enraged from swallowing one to many gnats over a humid summer, devised a gnat trap which are still in use to day. Striking a blow for human kind everywhere these traps are comprised of sucrose water made to smell like the uvula which draw gnats in and drown them in a watery tomb. This of course is only a temporary measure as they tend to re-appear a week later after one of your asshole co-workers leaves a banana to brown on his desk thus starting the cycle over again.
AKA Nature's Asshole
At birth, gnats are given three objectives in life that they feverishly carry out with as much enthusiasm as a swinger at a wife swap.
First, they must at all costs have an innate desire to locate the nostrils of homosapiens and fly straight in to them no matter how visiously they are swatted at.
Second, baring deflection from nostril penetration, they are given an intense sexual desire to mate with the human uvula. Typically the man or woman being attacked are so busy shouting obsenities at the gnat so as to allow easy access in to the mouth and straight to the back of the throat.
Third, they are drawn to the sweet, sweet odor of feces. This causes a high concentration of the little assholes where ever there is a place mired in shit, such as open sewage lines, and your work place.
Presently there is no way to destroy gnats permantly, however a good clapping of the hands have brought many a gnat to their compressed demise. In 1915 a Dutch farmer, after becoming violently enraged from swallowing one to many gnats over a humid summer, devised a gnat trap which are still in use to day. Striking a blow for human kind everywhere these traps are comprised of sucrose water made to smell like the uvula which draw gnats in and drown them in a watery tomb. This of course is only a temporary measure as they tend to re-appear a week later after one of your asshole co-workers leaves a banana to brown on his desk thus starting the cycle over again.
Fucking gnat is pissing me off, did Jeremy leave a banana on his desk again? If he did I'll *CHOKE* *COUGH* *COUGH* AH FUCK I SWALLOWED IT! *COUGH* *COUGH*
by The Sharpie November 2, 2010
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Comes from the perception or idea of how tight a gnats ass would be if someone would be able to insert (blank) in it
Comes from the perception or idea of how tight a gnats ass would be if someone would be able to insert (blank) in it
by Un10nCarb1d4 May 7, 2009
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by The Grammar Inquisitor December 3, 2002
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Get the dog dick gnats mug.An imaginary line dividing coastal areas from more inland areas in certain southern states in the U.S., especially the Carolinas and Georgia. The term comes from the abundance of gnats in coastal marshlands and swamps in these states and the relative lack of the insects in the inland regions.
I’m not from the piedmont. I’m just east of the gnat line.
The city has grown so big, it’s like everything north of the gnat line is considered metro Atlanta.
The city has grown so big, it’s like everything north of the gnat line is considered metro Atlanta.
by kidviscious March 3, 2007
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Get the gnasty gnorc mug.An extremely small unit to measure things by, subdivided into a `gnat's dick-end´, (about 8 to the gnat's dick), and a `gnat's cock-hair´, (about 12 to the gnat's dick-end) thus giving an imperial scale of 96 divisions. This sort of accuracy is essential if you're trying to get people on the moon, and maybe one day we will!
Hebden Bridge council worker to oppo,who's struggling to put up a lamp post:
'Move bugger a gnat's dick toward canal'
Oppo gives a shove the wrong way.
'Aye lad, another gnat's cock-hair and yer reet.'
'Move bugger a gnat's dick toward canal'
Oppo gives a shove the wrong way.
'Aye lad, another gnat's cock-hair and yer reet.'
by MisterE July 16, 2008
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