Controlled Chaos

When shit is going on that appears to be completely and utterly cluster-fucked and without reason but for a few people things are under control.

Example one

The Usual Suspects "Keyser Söze" Controlled Chaos to his advantage.

Example two

Bob: "Holy shit! A plane just hit that building!"

Priest: "Its God's will that 2,973 people died."

Bob: "So its also God's will for you to touch boys?"

Priest: "Its not called the second coming of Jesus for no reason."

Bob: "...where do you buy your pot from?"

Priest: " Praise be unto the lord, he giveth and he taketh away!"

by Kie D. K. January 25, 2010

Controlled Burn

Planning to share just enough information in a meeting so a potential troublemaker won't have much fodder.

Q. How come you're not showing the whole navigation scheme?

A. Tom's going to be there and he challenges everything; we've only got an hour so I'm going to go for a controlled burn.

by Daniel Ponech June 23, 2008

Controlled Stubble

Facial hair that is not completely a beard but more like a five o'clock shadow. It is neatly trimmed into the shape of a beard but lacks in length. This is most common with teenage boys who believe they can grow facial hair, but can't, and want to look more mature.

Teenager 1: " Hey man check out my controlled stubble, took me 2 weeks to grow!"

Teenage 2: " I'm trying to grow out mine too!"

by high5er5 January 25, 2012

Controlled Release

Releasing a fart in a safe area to avoid the risk of it slipping out near innocent bystanders later. Would typically be done by executing the release before entering a crowded area or by walking away from the crowded area to execute the release at a safe distance.

Chad: Man, that spicy burrito tore my stomach up.
Gene: Me too. I could have killed somebody if I didn't do a controlled release in my car before I came in to the gym.

by slamjackson.com June 16, 2013

Controlled Rager

A Rager party that is limited to the amount of people due to the person throwing down not wanting to have the rager get out of hand. However, it is still an awesome rager party

"Dude im glad we kept that a controlled rager because i still feel like shit from that night

by red123451 July 28, 2011

Controlled Nacho Cheese Dip

When two dudes jack off to the Taco Bell Quesalupa commercial's close-up food shots with Patrick Stewart from Logan doing the voiceovers, and then they both finish into a Niquil measuring cup. After high-fiving, the two dudes dip their limp dicks into the combined cum, then they lick it off of each other. This is the most important part, though: afterwards, the two dudes must look each other dead in the eye and say "no homo" at the exact same moment. If this does not happen, this is no longer called the "Controlled" Nacho Cheese Dip and is now called the "Fucking Gay" Nacho Cheese Dip.

GUY 1: "Bro, I just performed the Controlled Nacho Cheese Dip with my friend!"
GUY 2: "Did you say no homo?!"
GUY 1: "I said it was controlled."

by png.mp3 May 30, 2018

Controlled Incompetence

Knowing how to correctly accomplish an undesired task and producing a sub-satisfactory result as to never be asked to perform said task again.

The Guy: My boss wants me to work on this new machine. He's always coming to me for these things.
Coworker: sounds like you could use some controlled incompetence. Just give the appearance you're busy with it and mess it up. The boss will find someone else next time and then they can be "The Guy."

by Double Jay Dubs May 3, 2022