The bassoon is by far the best instrument ever, making the other sections bow down to them. If you fail to play it right though, it will sound like a duck that is dying.
And although it is the best, the other sections must confuse the bassoon with the oboe every other time they say the name, because they do not know any better.
Commonly referred to as the "farting bedpost", and also the target of many jokes (most of which involve the bassoon again being compared with the inferior oboe, having it being burned longer.) the bassoonists must be very patient.
And although it is the best, the other sections must confuse the bassoon with the oboe every other time they say the name, because they do not know any better.
Commonly referred to as the "farting bedpost", and also the target of many jokes (most of which involve the bassoon again being compared with the inferior oboe, having it being burned longer.) the bassoonists must be very patient.
Clarinetist: Nice Oboe!
Bassoonist: IT'S A BASSOON! -stabs with reed-
What's the difference between a bassoon and an oboe? The bassoon burns longer!
Bassoonist: IT'S A BASSOON! -stabs with reed-
What's the difference between a bassoon and an oboe? The bassoon burns longer!
by PointofnoReturn March 26, 2011
by im from maine bitches January 05, 2007
A pain in the ass, a massive pain. Can and will be mistakenly called:
a. Oboe
b. Large flute
c. Clarinet
d. Bass clarinet
e. Baritone saxophone
f. Trombone
The bassoon looks like a Victorian bedpost and sounds like one too... that is, if you were to ever hollow one out and blow into it. The sounds it makes have been described as "a dying duck", "a dying cat", or "sharp!" It is never in tune. The first five years or so of playing will sound like shit, but once you've hit your sixth or seventh year, it sounds a little less shitty and more like the gates of heaven. You will not be able to march with this (sorry, marching band is out! If you're keen to join, as I am, switch to clarinet or sax!) but it's great for concert band, as it is easiest played sitting down. The fingerings are complete shit and very, VERY confusing. I've looked up clarinet, flute, and saxophone fingerings. They look like addition and subtraction next to the trigonometry of bassoonland. If you want to make your own reeds (anything you can buy is really bad quality) then the process takes weeks. I get this a LOT when I tell people I play bassoon.
"What's that?"
or
"Oh! I know that~! It's like a large flute! :D :D :D!"
or
"Shit, good luck, mate."
:,)
a. Oboe
b. Large flute
c. Clarinet
d. Bass clarinet
e. Baritone saxophone
f. Trombone
The bassoon looks like a Victorian bedpost and sounds like one too... that is, if you were to ever hollow one out and blow into it. The sounds it makes have been described as "a dying duck", "a dying cat", or "sharp!" It is never in tune. The first five years or so of playing will sound like shit, but once you've hit your sixth or seventh year, it sounds a little less shitty and more like the gates of heaven. You will not be able to march with this (sorry, marching band is out! If you're keen to join, as I am, switch to clarinet or sax!) but it's great for concert band, as it is easiest played sitting down. The fingerings are complete shit and very, VERY confusing. I've looked up clarinet, flute, and saxophone fingerings. They look like addition and subtraction next to the trigonometry of bassoonland. If you want to make your own reeds (anything you can buy is really bad quality) then the process takes weeks. I get this a LOT when I tell people I play bassoon.
"What's that?"
or
"Oh! I know that~! It's like a large flute! :D :D :D!"
or
"Shit, good luck, mate."
:,)
most likely to screw up in songs and act so high and mighty but fail without the rest of the band. Shame the brass instruments when brass carry most if not all the songs a good band plays.
This is the fifth time in three minutes you messed up bassoons, keep it up and you won't play at all.
by Seth Rodriguez April 21, 2022
a medieval device used to torture humans, pinata's and donkeys, causing severe bleeding of the ears.
I went to a Community Band concert the other day, the triangle, slidewhistle, vuvuzela were excellent, but some one broke out the Bassoon and my ears started bleeding.
by MrTrumpetfromupstatenewyor December 27, 2010
A double reed instrument that looks like a bong crossed with a circumcised penis. You can put a balloon over the bore for the full effect.
by Mr. Instrument July 11, 2008
Area within your brain that defines time perception. Can be affected by so called 'Made up drugs' such as 'Cake'; a Visterbile Amphetamoid from Prague. Cake and the effects on shatners bassoon is covered in a episode of the 'Brass Eye' concered with drugs.
by Valetudo March 24, 2004