yahweh
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Yahweh
The traditional Hebrew name for the Judeo-Christian god from the Jewish Torah and the Old Testament of the Christian bible.
While superficially glorified by scripture, he can be characterized by his actions as one of the most supremely douchy characters in all of western literature and theology. A few of his more characteristic actions were the demand for genocide by his followers, the demand for his followers to kill their own children, the encouragement of slavery and subjugation of women, the demand that his followers must simultaneously love and fear him, and psychotic bets made with the devil (whom he never could be bothered to kill) at the expense of his creations. Once, in a dick move of the highest order, he murdered the entire population of the earth with a massive flood because he was pissed off at them for being exactly the way he made them. It should also be noted that while supposedly omnipotent, the character demonstrates an extremely neurotic personality (leading some theologians to conclude he had a Jewish mother). This personality can be demonstrated by his obsession with the worship and adoration of others. Today, one might think it slightly pathetic for a creator to seek validation of his own superiority from his creations, but apparently this idea never occurred to him (despite his theoretically infinite intelligence and wisdom). For all of these reasons and more we can think of him simply as a dick hole of (quite literally) biblical proportions.
While superficially glorified by scripture, he can be characterized by his actions as one of the most supremely douchy characters in all of western literature and theology. A few of his more characteristic actions were the demand for genocide by his followers, the demand for his followers to kill their own children, the encouragement of slavery and subjugation of women, the demand that his followers must simultaneously love and fear him, and psychotic bets made with the devil (whom he never could be bothered to kill) at the expense of his creations. Once, in a dick move of the highest order, he murdered the entire population of the earth with a massive flood because he was pissed off at them for being exactly the way he made them. It should also be noted that while supposedly omnipotent, the character demonstrates an extremely neurotic personality (leading some theologians to conclude he had a Jewish mother). This personality can be demonstrated by his obsession with the worship and adoration of others. Today, one might think it slightly pathetic for a creator to seek validation of his own superiority from his creations, but apparently this idea never occurred to him (despite his theoretically infinite intelligence and wisdom). For all of these reasons and more we can think of him simply as a dick hole of (quite literally) biblical proportions.
Praying man: "Blessed God, full of Grace"...
Heckler: "What God you praying to there friend? Wouldn't happen to be Yahweh, would it?"
Praying man: "Yeah, do you mind?"
Heckler: "No, all the same to me. But you do know he is a mass-murdering psychotic dictator, right?"
Praying Man: "That's not true, he loves us!"
Heckler: "Like a rapist loves his victims maybe..."
Heckler: "What God you praying to there friend? Wouldn't happen to be Yahweh, would it?"
Praying man: "Yeah, do you mind?"
Heckler: "No, all the same to me. But you do know he is a mass-murdering psychotic dictator, right?"
Praying Man: "That's not true, he loves us!"
Heckler: "Like a rapist loves his victims maybe..."
Yahweh by The Pseudo-Saint October 5, 2010
Related Words
Yahweh’s Restoration ministry
A church very popular on youtube with over 100000 subscribers, they believe in both the Old and New testaments and revere the Holy Name of the Heavenly Father, Yahweh. They also proclaim the Son, Yahshua, a name meaning, “Yahweh is salvation.” They believe that both obedience to the Word and faith in the Messiah are critical. They look to our Savior for salvation, realizing that only through Him do we find redemption and forgiveness of sins. They also observe the seventh-day Sabbath along with the seven annual Feast days. They are located in Holts Summit, MO a city near the capital of Missouri. Where they do daily sabbath and livestreams for there youtube channel.
John: “Emma have you watched Yahweh’s restorations ministry on youtube.”
Emma: “yes I love there videos. Yahweh’s Restoration ministry teaches about the both testaments, and helps me understand the bible.”
Emma: “yes I love there videos. Yahweh’s Restoration ministry teaches about the both testaments, and helps me understand the bible.”
Yahweh’s Restoration ministry by John Abendana January 14, 2021
Yahweh Three Way
Similar to a Joseph's Cuckold, the Yahweh Three Way is when the Christian deity decides to let his son be born through a woman on earth - a woman in a relationship where there are now three parties involved. Seen as either the cornerstone of Christianity, or blatant bullshit
I was shocked to find out my wife has been engaging in a Yahweh Three Way, without my knowledge. Some folks have been laughing behind my back, but it's okay... at least I will be the father of a demigod
Yahweh Three Way by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016
Yahwehdi
A beauty in existence, whose believe is of the faith and not of any religious practices.
A Yahwehdi is an exceptionally perculiar beauty in existence found trust worthy in character and all parts of self's existence.
A Yahwehdi is not a human being but a beauty in existence who is subjected to the commandment of self's Owner YAHWEH and Ridima YAHWEHSHUA ha MASHIAK. And thus follows suit in application to self's existence
Plural: Yahwehdims
A Yahwehdi is an exceptionally perculiar beauty in existence found trust worthy in character and all parts of self's existence.
A Yahwehdi is not a human being but a beauty in existence who is subjected to the commandment of self's Owner YAHWEH and Ridima YAHWEHSHUA ha MASHIAK. And thus follows suit in application to self's existence
Plural: Yahwehdims
A Yahwehdi came looking for you yesresting hour you weren't at home.
All the yahwehdimsplural thank you.
Resp: thank our owner Yahweh Yahweh!
All the yahwehdimsplural thank you.
Resp: thank our owner Yahweh Yahweh!
Prophet Yahweh
Are you that "Prophet Yahweh" predicted to give us the commandments of God?
Is Jesus Christ original "Prophet Yahweh"?
Is Jesus Christ original "Prophet Yahweh"?
Prophet Yahweh by The Covenant Messenger October 5, 2021