Ted 

A giant shit that's been brewing in your bowls all day long.

"I have to go take a giant Ted Teddy."

Ted by Soapbox69 May 13, 2010

Ted 

A synonym for hug. Originally from the Skype bear emoji who gives a hug and was named after the talking and walking teddy bear from the movie Ted.

Can be replaced in a text by any bear emoji

"Ted me"

"Give me a Ted"

Ted by Speckonadeck August 25, 2019

TED 

stands for "That Enlisted Dude." typically a enlisted member of the Coast Guard (or really any service) that feels slighted by the fact that he chose to join up right out of high school rather than try to become an officer and displays a high level of ignorance and contempt/jealousy for officers and cadets. Usually displays a lot of "service pride" which really means 95% of his clothing says Coast Guard on it somewhere, because it's way cheaper to buy things at the exchange than even Wal-Mart.

Guy 1: I was going to get a huge decal on the bag of my Dodge with an Eagle carrying the CG emblem.
Guy 2: Dude, that'd be like, so sick... Let's smoke some Camels and get nautical star tatoos to celebrate.
Cadet standing awkwardly: (under breath) TEDs...

TED by jimmycricket383838338383838388 February 20, 2010

Ted 

The name you call a man when you don't know his name, nor do you have any interest in getting to know his actual name.

Can be used for a casual acquaintance, a hookup, one night stand, or even an uninteresting guy buying you a drink.

You: "Hi my name is Brian."

Me: "Nice to meet you, Ted."

Or in the ladies bathroom -

Me: I'm talking to a Ted out there. I need someone to save me.

Ted by Roxma May 25, 2010

ted 

A term used in and around Liverpool,England.To describe a person as being a ted means that they are behind the times in terms of their fashion sense,musical taste or general outlook on matters.It's a take on the fashion craze Teddy Boys which was popular many years ago.

Sit down Nigel,you ted.

ted by Andrew Hill June 8, 2004

Ted 

Someone who is a Obama supporter.

My dad is Ted.

Ted by Robby Micheal Jordan October 17, 2010

ted 

a totally hot guy, one that you would would want to live with forever,
totally sweet, and knows how to love someone right,
you want to have babies with ted.

girl1: i got myself a ted the other night,
girl2: well done, i wish i could get a ted.

ted by tedlover. July 9, 2009