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The Nick Condition

The Nick Condition thankfully rarely seen disease, with several common and a few not so common symptoms. It's created from a bacterial organism, known as a Tadiumvir (often called the Nick Bug) It is carried through sperm, and grows in the childs brain. Early childhood symptoms include misfitism and hate from the other children.

As the subject approaches puberty, the Nick Bug is fully grown, and begins to secret feces onto the brain. This confuses and poisons the brain, leaving the many symptoms listed in full here:

-Lack of Common Sense
-Lonliness
-Denial of Lonliness
-Homosexuality
-Denial of Homosexuality
-Constant itching of the penis, testicles, gooch and asscrack
-Delightful sensations from anal penetration
-Acne
-Horribly thick and wiry hair
-Chronic fucked up haircut
-Mild hallucinations (for example, the subject making airplane sounds or believing he/she has friends)
-Lack of dress sense (large, bulky winter jackets, Dragonball Z shirts and gray sweat pants that are too tight are common)
-Interest in unbelievably childish things
-Chronic Masturbation
-Poor eyesight, requiring glasses
-Useless ears that not only prevent him from hearing you hate him, but also make his glasses fall off, requiring a rope or string attachment, often found on librarians and old bitches
-Several learning disorders including ADD, ADHD, Teretts, Fucktardation
-Denial of Fucktardedness
-Freakish height
-Lack of muscle or fat
-Weakness
-Vulnerability to beatings
-A lifetime supply of Virginity

Unfortunatly, The Nick Condition is uncurable as of April 17, 2007. And we don't really want a cure either. We'd be much happier having these freaks around to pick on.

Every school, every town, every place has a Nick. What happens when they grow up? The Nick Bug dies, and its absense drives the subject into a deep depression, fueled by lack of social skills and intelligence. They usually commit a quiet suicide or sink into obscurity. However, some react dangerously, and attempt to perform a killing spree at their high school. But with their stupidity (it never fully fades) they try to use water guns, and end up crying at their failage.
Me: Woah! Check that greasy fuckhead out!
You: Wow! He must have the Nick Condition!
by Clayton Carr December 24, 2008
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The Nick Alimo

AKA fatty, twigs, tits, milkshakes, twinky, double neck (while turned), Chode, that fat mexican down the street, The fridge, Pumkin, anti skinny nigro. may shake ground while walking ; may have a symptom known as scrotum fat.
"dude, I think I felt the Nick Alimo comeing...."
by SubSustain May 27, 2008
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the nick roberts

The act of being balls deep inside of a Zoo animal while it screams in pain.
Last night at the Zoo me and My uncle stan performed the nick roberts on a sea lion.
by Cocobeans81 March 13, 2015
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the nick maier

A action of when someone is distracted by a attractive female and falls on the ground
"pervert stop doing the nick maier"
by Rmactough96 August 31, 2011
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Down the Nick

To be at the police station, especially in the UK.
Bunny and Carlos were sent Down the Nick after both guys commited grand theft auto. They were released an hour later on bail.
by Babydoll75 March 12, 2019
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In the nick

Naked, nude, bare, unclothed, in the raw, starkers, in your birthday suit, etc
by something unique February 18, 2017
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In the nick of time

At the last possible moment.
Just at the critical moment.
Just in time.
The beautiful woman was saved just in the nick of time as some man untied her from the train tracks. She later gave him the best head ever.
by Dancing with Fire December 28, 2010
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