taser
taser by rizzlordalcatraz December 29, 2023
taser bomb
a cop prank. when cops pull up to talk to each other in there patrol cars they park side by side and one turns the taser on for its 5 second cycle, throws it in the other cops lap, and rolls up his window.
taser bomb by the jon law March 22, 2010
Taser Monkey
A police officer, especially one who reflexively uses his or her Taser in situations in which a real cop would rely on his or her wits and communication skills.
Peace Loving Citizen: Excuse me, officer, might you have the time?
Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.
Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.
Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!
Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.
Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.
Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!
Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
Taser Monkey by taserbrain February 12, 2010
Taser Nation
The University Of Florida, where free speech is not included. If you ask the wrong questions, you will be shocked. When this occurs your fellow students will not assist you in any way, prompting the illustrious TV pundit, Stephen Colbert, to call out your student body as a bunch of submissive cowards.
FSU student "Dude, I heard Justin went to UF"
USF student "Lol, I hope he doesn't ask the wrong questions, he just entered the Taser Nation"
USF student "Lol, I hope he doesn't ask the wrong questions, he just entered the Taser Nation"
Taser Nation by Scotty Con Queso December 9, 2008
taser cow
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