scranton shoehorn

The act of inserting your penis flaccid into a rectum using your thumb as a shoehorn and then tickeling your nuts until you become erect at which point urinating is optional but preferred.

The midgets ass was too tight so I had to scranton shoehorn that slut.

by b00stinsc00by November 18, 2009

Spokane Shoehorn

A sexual maneuver involving the insertion of a gentleman's testes and scrotum into a lady's vagina during coitus. The maneuver can be accomplished manually or with the aid of a shoehorn, giving rise to the maneuver's name as well as the oft-quoted saying "sometimes you just have to shoehorn them in there."

Steve: "I gave her the ole Spokane Shoehorn last night!"

Ryan: "Ladies love a man with flexible balls. Have you tried the anal Spokane Shoehorn?"

Steve: "The Spokane Valley Shoehorn?! I thought that was a myth."

Ryan: "No, its real. My brother's friend's dad performed the first one in 1974."

by Bobby Smith Rules August 31, 2013

Spokane Shoehorn

A sexual maneuver involving the insertion of a gentleman's testes and scrotum into a lady's vagina during coitus. The maneuver can be accomplished manually or with the aid of a shoehorn, giving rise to the maneuver's name as well as the oft-quoted saying "sometimes you just have to shoehorn them in there."

Steve: "I gave her the ole Spokane Shoehorn last night!"
Ryan: "Ladies love a man with flexible balls. Have you tried the anal Spokane Shoehorn?"
Steve: "The Spokane Valley Shoehorn?! I thought that was a myth."
Ryan: "No, it's real. My brother's friend's dad performed the first one in 1974."

by Bobby Smith Rules1 September 8, 2013

vaginal shoehorn

Any friend who introduces you to hot, slutty women they know in order to bed them.

Yo Luke, thanks for being such a good vaginal shoehorn. I totally nailed Melissa to the wall!

by The Original Slim Bavis November 15, 2003

Alaskan shoehorn

there is a girl and a guy in the mountainman position. Under the girl is another girl eating her out. As she is eating her out, the guy puts his dick is the girl getting eaten out. Before he cums, he pushes the girls off the rockwall then sprays the cum down on their stomacks. He jumps down and rubs his belly in it

I totally got 2 girls in the Alaskan shoehorn last nights

by brankle June 28, 2009

french shoehorn

1. a heretosexual act where the male uses frenchfries as lubricant. fries however don't work very well so sometimes ketchup and or mustard is added to the mix. this is known as a sloppy french shoehorn.

2. an actual shoehorn made in France

Bill:"Yeah, I took Sandy to McDonalds and then gave her a french shoehorn in the back of my Miata."

by mysteryman16 May 25, 2006

Long Island Shoehorn

When a man is about to cum, he pulls out and ejaculates into the heel of a particularly tight pair of dress shoes in order to ease the passage of his foot into said shoes.

I never thought I'd fit into my size 9's for the wedding until a Long Island Shoehorn provided the lube to fulfill this impossible dream.

by Warren Piece March 6, 2007