Petrified Tree

When, during intercourse, the penis becomes numb due to under stimulation. The male equivalent of Zombie Beaver. Useful for Cock-Slapping, Cock-stands, Tripod-ing, etc.

Janet was so begrudgingly wide that I got the good 'ol Petrified Tree. After that, I charmingly berated her, and cock-slapped her with my rock-solid Mahogany Staff.

by Phydeaux The Grate August 10, 2009

Petrified Seman

Seman on a peice of clothing or towel that has dried up and is now crusted on to said objects.

I just found an old sock that is covered in petrified seman.

by Contazz March 6, 2010

petrified wood

a boner or erection lasting for many hours

Lauren throught it was strange that Stephen's petrified wood wasn't going away.

by k blau July 23, 2006

Petrified Seagull

Fictional sexual position that one may use in conversation to instill a feeling of sexual experience or prowess.

Venus Butterfly... whatever. Ever had the Petrified Seagull?

by John Doe who lives on Fake St. September 4, 2010

Petrified Wood

When a old man takes too much viagra and his boner gets stuck forever, causing an awkward funeral.

Hugh Hefner had taken too many boner pills and had to have surgery because of Petrified Wood.

by garuru0 December 27, 2009

Petrified Wood

a.k.a. erectile dysfunction. When a chub is too frightened (petrified) to cum out.

Vajona Jackson was ready for a hot night of boner-rockin' but her man's unit was too scared to go into the dark. Therefore, his petrified wood "layed" low, unable to rise and shine.

by vajona jackson-hewitt August 22, 2011

Petrified Chocolate

1. When hot molten chocolate solidifies.

2. A scared african american .... or any dark skinned person in general.

1. Caitlin fell asleep on her chocolate and it melted. After sitting on her desk for a day it hardened, so Jasmin and Carley ate the petrified chocolate.

2. As an african american was walking down the street, Tomás and Jon jumped out at him from around the corner. He was then, petrifed chocolate.

by Duden2010 November 3, 2010