mental masturbation

To perform some activity, typically IT related, where performing the activity gives the performer almost sexual pleasure while doing it, yet nothing of any value or lasting value is produced. Mental masturbation is reasonably acceptable in the privacy of the performer's home, but not on their employer's time. Mental masturbation may be the reason for overly complicated and hard to understand solutions being implemented in one company, despite simpler and more commonly understood solutions being used at a number of other companies in the same industry.
To workmate, on Monday morning, "Guess what I did over the weekend! I rewrote Linux in FORTAN! Cool huh!"
Workmate, unimpressed, "That sounds like mental masturbation to me."
by Shylock Merchant September 30, 2006
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Mental Masturbation

This is usually announced or thought of after seeing a girl who is distractingly attractive. The act of explaining you like the looks of a girl enough to masturbate too.
See, she's hot dude I'm going to ask her out.

Yea I'm masturbating in my head to her.

I fucking hate you.

I'm still masturbating in my head to her. Still not done, not done, Alright I'm done. I'm going to go make a sandwich. Good Mental Masturbation. Actually, you want to go to Chipotle?

Not with you.

Thats douchey.
by gordon getty November 14, 2011
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mental masturbation

The act of engaging in impractical/nonproductive mental exercise/thinkings/writings through which a practitioner only comforts oneself mentally. Such acts don't lead to any constructive results what so ever in the real world; some might even imagine oneself being transformed into superman, or simply the opposite sex, etc.
In short, it's just bs/crap.
Example1:
Guy1: My boyfriend went abroad so I can take over all his stuff and start anew.
Guy2: Dude, you're the same person all along; stop that mental masturbation and get the hell out of my sight.

Example2:
Guy1: I think biological evolution is bull, but mankind can evolve to become God.
Guy2: Dude, you're all fucked up; you can go on with your mental masturbation, but stop bordering me anymore.
by lionhead May 26, 2007
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mental masturbation

1. In academics it is the practice of using faulty premises to draw a conclusion.

2. The pretense of superior knowledge or intelligence by claiming conjecture, theory, feeling or opinion as fact.
The facts used to describe the cause of Global warming is an exercise in mental masturbation.
by unlending May 09, 2009
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Mental Masturbation

The act of figuring out why the world is fucked up, but that you can't do anything about it... but bitch and moan!!!

See Intellectual Jizz
I know what to do about the middle east situation

Dude stop. That is just Mental Masturbation.
by Equites April 10, 2004
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Mental Masturbation

Manipulating usually flirtatiously yet without doing any actual sexual acts in order to get what you want.

AKA: ‘Hoeing without using your holes’
Just send a pretty girl to go scoop up that check. He won’t tell her no...
#mental masturbation
by FreakyFelonFriday February 06, 2021
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Mental Masturbation

The term coined by the promising new hope of psychology. Christopher, the surefire future of psychological theory, defines this term as the psychosexual pleasure that one receives from playing mind games with others. Christopher is a godsend to psychology.
I am, however, at the point in my life where I do not need to subject myself to the “mental masturbation” which envelopes your games.
by Sigmund Hylkema December 24, 2007
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