Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ is an imaginary person. He is also the main character of God's best-selling fictional book "The Bible".

Unfortunately, many cult members beleive Jesus Christ to be alive today, even though that would make him 2009 years old. Many cult members also beleive that Jesus Christ has magical powers; including, telepathy, teleportation, and telekinesis, among others.
person A : "Hey! I read this great book the other day! In it, some guy called Jesus Christ did all this crazy stuff! He can read my prayers and teleport!"

Person B : "Do you realise that Jesus Christ is a fictional person, and can't actually do all of the things he says he can?"
by Jonathon Harker April 01, 2009
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Jesus Christ

A fictional character from the Imagination Land episodes of South Park. Who, inadvertently, is quite the sharp-shooter with an M16.
Jesus Christ killed all the bad imaginary people with his M16.
by Scoggins February 28, 2010
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Jesus Christ

The main character in the fiction story "The Bible". Portrayed by Jim Caviezel in the movie version.
Person 1- Dude, I just read The Bible. That Jesus Christ guy was kick ass. If only that was real...
Christian Asshole- It was real, he died for all of our sins.
Person 1- I bet you expect me to believe he turned water into wine too and healed people by 'miracles'. You're such a joker :D
(Christian Asshole walks away to go to church like a bitch instead of watching the Ravens vs Steelers)
by Joe Balls69 June 29, 2011
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Jesus Christ

A carpenter, a complex, caused alot of headache. Oy Vey
Guy at door: Have you found Jesus Christ?
Guy in house: You lost him?
by stoolybird October 26, 2006
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Jesus Christ

The only name that has the power to save, to heal, and to bless—the Name that is above all other names that can set people free from evil spirits and bondages and restore broken relationships.
Jesus Christ gives birth to the Christian communitythe only one that exists for the sake of non-members—whose aim is to bring in the lost sheep that are “outside” God’s Kingdom.
by MathPlus November 19, 2017
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Jesus Christ

An exclamation on par with "holy shit!" "What the hell?!"
*something crazy happens*
John: "Jesus Christ! What just happened?!
by ZahhakNJ September 23, 2016
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Jesus Christ

A worthy apponent to Chuck Norris
Jesus Christ and Chuck Norris should fight!
by Loser XY October 20, 2008
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