This Just In: You're a Jackass

A smart-ass retaliation to the insult Newsflash: I don't care.

Dude 1: Hey, did you know I just got a raise?
Dude 2: Newsflash: I don't care.
Dude 1: This just in: you're a jackass.

by _allismine_ May 17, 2006

Jackassopithecus

A man that hails from the dark ages. Thinks all women are to be treated as whores and house slaves. Never asks for anyone elses opinion because he has all the right answers. Wears cheap suits and uses sub-par vocabulary. Drives old gas-guzzling cars or big-ass monster trucks. Eats only meat and cheese. Never tips wait staff well. Is the reason why gun control should never be enforced. Avoid at all costs.

Synonyms: Asshole, douchebag, tool, pervert

Girl 1: "Look at that douche wearing the Sears and Roebuck suit. Did he just actually wink at me and make an obscene gesture?"
Girl 2: "Yep, that one is a real Jackassopithecus"

by Brokenheartmender May 11, 2010

jackass

1)n. A type of Donkey
2)n. A stupid or idiotic person
3)n. A show on MTV in which people preform dangeorus stunts that look pretty cool.
4)n. See: Edwin cruz

1. I own some donkeys and some jackasses.
2. Stop being a jackass, Kayla!
3. I'm going to watch Jackass.
4. Go away and get a life, jackass!

by Anonymous June 16, 2003

Jackassing

the act of being stupid, immature, a dick, or a jackass.

1. hey man, stop jackassing and get your ass over here!

2. Mike: Paul is being such a jackass today.
Phil: Yea, somebody should tell him to stop jackassing around.

by mexicano9191 April 6, 2009

jimmy jackass

offesive term that describes a flamboyant person who lacks a firm grip on reality

in mixed company "JJ" can be used

"Look at that guy! Swerving through rush hour traffic. While smoking and yakking away on the phone." "What a Jimmy Jackass!"

by Courvoisier T. Johannsen September 28, 2006

pompous jackass

A pompous jackass is a person who is often enough bigger than they appear. They are full of themselves and at every opportunity will inform others of their position and the level of authority they have (or think they have). When in reality they are just merely an individual who has no common sense but find themselves to be superior to everyone else. Oh and they never take the blame when they mess up.

Hey have you met Erika?
Yea, she is being a real douche to her workers.
Oh yea, that's her...she is really just a pompous jackass that no ones likes.
I feel bad for her workers.
Don't worry, she has something coming her way.
(Leave laughing!)

by YouMessedWithTheWrongKid November 29, 2013

corporo-political jackassery

The shenanigans that corporations play with disingenuous politicians, which place them in a higher position than the politician's individual constituents. These shenanigans may include contributions, lobbying, influence peddling, manipulation of regulatory environments, strong-arming, or other techniques, not unlike those of organized crime, but legitimized by a corporate presence, employed to create a favorable environment for the corporation and its shareholders mostly to the detriment of the individual constituents within the district served and the corporation's stakeholders. Often corporo-political jackassery exploits weak-minded people who respond to buzzwords and grossly oversimplified skeletal concepts they don't understand with militant activism in defense of the buzzword, despite the obvious detriment to the individual; i.e., "Obamacare."

A number of protections were enacted following the Great Depression to prevent our economy from tanking, however thanks to decades of corporo-political jackassery, most were deregulated and Wall Street was alloiwed to police itself. The end product left the U.S. with massive foreclosures, layoffs, and an exodus of industry which further eroded the middle class.

by Hot East March 6, 2011