status insurance

to like/comment on a friends status so it does not look like a failure

Keith: I posted a really average status before

Barry: Did you have status insurance?

Keith: Yeah Bernard was all over it like a rash

by diago sanchezzio October 15, 2009

boner insurance

Stringing your present girlfriend along until you can find a new and improved one.....

Even though she made him mental,Paul made sure he had boner insurance by dating his present girlfriend until he could find a better replacement.

by sheila in the car September 23, 2011

Joke Insurance

When two mates have a mutual understanding to laugh at each others jokes, no matter how lame or awkward said joke is, therefore lessening the social failure of the bad joke.

I was talking to some girls the other day when I cracked a 'your mother' joke. Luckily, I had joke insurance with Chris so I still ended up getting both their numbers. All Chris got was a weird look for his over-the-top laugh.

by iPutMyWordInYou August 24, 2009

insurance company

An affiliation of pirate-gamblers who accept bets called premiums. The dollar amounts of the premiums are non-negotiable but the amounts of the claim settlements, should the company lose the bet, are rarely delivered without argument.

Bob payed his premiums faithfully for years but the insurance company steadfastly refused to pay his legitimate claim.

by The Doo Doo Guru November 25, 2004

Headass Insurance

When someone says "headass" at the end of a statement or question to make it seem like they're joking, when in reality they're serious.

"Hey James, want to eat at McDonald's? Headass"
"Good thing you had headass insurance, i thought you were serious!"

by Bobbylight69su June 8, 2018

Tenticle Rape Insurance

Insurance that will cover you in the event that any form of tenticle un-consensually penetrates you.

Slogan: We can't heal your scars, and we can't help you regain your virginity, but we will help you through this.

"Dude, what's wrong, you're walking kinda funny?"
"Ugh, I was swimming and this giant squid shoved a tenticle up my ass."
"You were raped by a squid?"
"Pretty much."
"Damn."
"Good thing I have Tenticle Rape Insurance, they'll help me through this."

by TimPestilence July 25, 2009

insurance fraud

A person in need of cash. They will deliberately chuck themselves in front of vehicles just to get compensation. They will use some of their money from the insurance company to pay the health bills to recover, and then the rest is pure profit.

I think I hit an insurance fraud, 'cus he chucked himself in front of an 18 wheeler and a bike before he stumbled over to me...

by RollCage24 January 4, 2014