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hypocrite 

A self-absorbed, arrogant prick who constantly pisses and moans about other people doing something wrong, yet engages in such behavior anyway. Probably someone who has a really ugly girlfriend named Pinky.
Wow, did you hear about how Brandon fucks his girlfriend twice a day, yet complains about other people being horny? What a fucking hypocrite!
hypocrite by wakatakalaka August 4, 2008

Hypocrite 

Everyone including myself
"He is such a hypocrite... I mean, who lies to someone?"
Hypocrite by Pizzerk July 31, 2012

hypocrite 

Person who enjoys contradicting ones self.
Son: Mom this pasta taste like shit.

Mom: DON'T YOU FUCKING CURSE *bitch smacks son across face*

Dad: fucking hypocrite bitch.
hypocrite by marcos p May 31, 2007

hypocrite 

A person who contradicts themself with their own words and/or doings, by making a contrast between the two.
Molly is reknowned for saying she is adament in her belief about something, but then going out and doing the exact opposite of what she preached to be true about. What a hypocrite!
hypocrite by Mike Money Mozilla October 10, 2006

hypocrite 

A person given to hypocrisy. It comes from the Middle English ipocrite, derived from Old French, passed down from late Latin hypocrita, from Greek hupocrits, actor, from hupokrnesthai, to play a part, pretend; So all Actors in Hollywood are literally hypocrites, especially the most famous ones. Anyone who pretends to be, do or have something they are not, do not or have not, or who acts like they aren't what they are, don't do what they do, or have what they have, are literal hypocrites.

Hypocracy is the practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness. It is also an act or instance of such falseness.

Hypocrisy is an expression of agreement that is not supported by real conviction as in paying someone with
lip service dissembling, feigning, pretense, pretence - pretending with intention to deceive, a sort of fraud
crocodile tears - a hypocritical display of sorrow; false or insincere weeping; "the secretaries wept crocodile tears over the manager's dilemma"; "politicians shed crocodile tears over the plight of dead soldiers"
hypocrisy is insincerity by virtue of pretending to have qualities or beliefs that you do not really have as in
insincerity, falseness - the quality of not being open or truthful; deceitful or hypocritical
sanctimoniousness, sanctimony - the quality of being hypocritically devout, smarminess, unctuousness, unction, fulsomeness, oiliness, oleaginousness - smug self-serving earnestness

A hypocrite is usually a selfish, self serving bastard or bitch that has no compunction about their own self-rightness in being, doing or having what they want with utter disregard toward all others.
Famous hypocritical quotes:

I didn't have sex with that woman!
Mission Accomplished!
I love that woman!
I'm innocent your Honor!
The war will soon be over!
I didn't do it!

How do you tell if a human being is a hypocrite? If they are breathing they are one.

What did one hypocrite say to the other hypocrite?

If you would just stop being so hypercritical we could both get along.
hypocrite by ALEX S. GABOR September 16, 2008

Hypocrite 

Someone who makes and joins a facebook page complaining about people joining and making facebook pages.
Joe Bob became a fan of "Stop fanning stuff!! It's annoying"

aka

Joe Bob became a fan of "Im a hypocrite!!! Shoot me please!!"
Hypocrite by NOTaHYPOCRITE April 18, 2010