Housewife Telly

Television shows usually watched by the stereotypical housewife. (note the word stereotypical, I'm not implying they all watch it). Some of these shows include:

The Jeremy Kyle Show
Katie and Peter: The Next Chapter
Katie and Peter: Stateside
What Katie Did Next
Kerry Katona: The Next Chapter
Big Brother
Gossip Girl
The Only Way is Essex

Basically any program that adheres to our modern culture of glamorised mediocrity. See also: Daytime Television

Woman: Oh look, Katy Price is moving on with her life, isn't that interesting dear?
Man: Hardly, now get that housewife telly off and put a decent program on...

by Firelovesugar April 27, 2011

housewife hooker

A homemaker who rents herself out part time to make extra cash, usually behind her husband's back.

Cheryl keeps the palace clean in the day, and fucks anything that moves by night. That's one fine housewife hooker.

by blix99 May 13, 2005

Housewife's Napkin

A small cloth or beverage napkin kept in the nightstand of an under sexed housewife. The Housewife's Napkin is used to wipe up semen after sexual activity. The Housewife's Napkin generally lasts for many months before needing to be laundered or disposed due to extremely infrequent sexual activity.

Mary Anne was a sex starved housewife. Her husband's lack of sexual performance and constant flaccid state rendered her Housewife's Napkin in clean and folded condition in her nightstand and rarely seeing any use.

by Eaton Holgoode April 17, 2014

housewife spliffin

A phrase refering to lesbian sex

My girlfriend and I just did a little housewife spliffin

by Unicirn queen November 15, 2017

housewife cocktail

Xanax and Red Wine

Got a bottle of josh cab and a couple beans. Me and the boys gonna rip some housewife cocktails tonight

by Goldman, ron November 24, 2020

housewife weight

The excessive baggage that is gradually acquired over time by a housewife. They start off pretty, but slowly turn into fat cows who do nothing all day but sit around and eat things covered in chocolate and creamy shit.

Housewife weight results from a belief that, since the woman already has a husband who will pay for all the stupid, pointless shit she wants, she has a right to stop exercising and eating right, because she thinks that he will not leave her. If the man is smart, he will drop her tubby ass like a bad habit and find a girl half his age.

Once upon a time, John married a hot young intelligent woman named Jane. Jane began gaining housewife weight, and slowly morphed from a 9 into a -2, and became indestinguishable from a common farm hog.

by Daniel Jakubek November 29, 2006

Housewife Vagina

a person. me. but it can also be used to refer to a chick that can cook like nobody's buisness and likes or has thought about pursuing the pussy.

most housewife vagina's have had bad experiences with men, therefore attracted to angelina jolie types and cook to relieve stress.

housewife vagina's also make great loving mothers but are a bit unconventional about it.

i coined that shit though.
because its me nigga.

"why do they call you housewife vagina?"

"because i can make bomb ass brownies."

"what about the vagina part?"

"hey man don't go askin questions just cuz i don't eat the meat."

"so why do you want your baby to have a blue mohawk? and why would you want to paint the white picket fence black?"

"because i'm housewife vagina niggabitch."

by Housewife Vagina February 6, 2010