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Hitchslap

The inevitable outcome of arguing against renowned author, journalist and anti-theist Christopher Hitchens

The Hitchslap is dispensed usually to morons such as Sean Hannity and Bill OReilly. His 2007 Hitchslap against Sean Hannity on "Hotseat" was made even more entertaining due to the fact that Hitchens was quite obviously drunk at the time, and still made Hannity look like a tool.
Hannity -

"To be an atheist, you have to believe that it is possible, which I think is a far greater leap of faith, that something can be created out of nothing. When you look at the majesty and sophistication, and the intricacy of the universe that we do know and comprehend. You have to believe that somehow this energy could have existed on its own, and i do not believe that, that to me is a leap of faith "

Hitchens-

"You give me the awful impression, i hate to have to say it, of someone who hasn't read any of the arguments against your position ever. You want your god to take personal responsibility for the huge number of collapsing stars and imploding galaxies and destroyed universes and failed solar systems that have left us in this tiny corner, on the one planet on this petty solar system that can support life on some of its surface for some of the time. You want a creator who filled this earth with species, 99% of which are now extinct already"

Everyone else -

"oh my god what a fucking Hitchslap!"
by tom130795 June 18, 2013
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Hitch Slap

The process of having common sense knocked into you by Christopher Hitchens
Person 1: Dude did you see that debate between Christopher Hitchens and Pat Robertson on YouTube?

Person 2: Ye Dude and at 3:45 Pat totally got Hitch Slapped!
by Behemut April 25, 2010
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Reverse Hitch Hiking

The act of literally becoming an Uber or Lyft driver for the sole purpose of transporting YOURSELF to a specific destination while getting paid to do so. Having the ability to pick and chose your rider based on their final destination (which would be in the exact direction you need to go).
- I'm strapped for cash but I really want to go on a cross country trip... What can I do?!

- I know... Have you ever considered Reverse Hitch Hiking?! You would actually get paid to drive people in the same direction you are headed!! Isn't that genious??
by Brocc218 November 7, 2018
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Hitchanck

To send the same seemingly pointless one-word text message repeatedly over an extended period.
Verizon is hitchancking me. I keep getting the message "Einstein" over and over.
by Woody Thrower May 28, 2008
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Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy — not an Earth book, never published on Earth, and until the terrible catastrophe occurred, never seen or heard of by any Earthman.

Nevertheless, a wholly remarkable book.

in fact it was probably the most remarkable book ever to come out of the great publishing houses of Ursa Minor — of which no Earthman had ever heard either.

Not only is it a wholly remarkable book, it is also a highly successful one — more popular than the Celestial Home Care Omnibus, better selling than Fifty More Things to do in Zero Gravity, and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid's trilogy of philosophical blockbusters Where God Went Wrong, Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes and Who is this God Person Anyway?

In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy, the Hitch Hiker's Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopedia Galactica as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects.

First, it is slightly cheaper; and secondly it has the words Don't Panic inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.
Here's what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms.

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

It says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.

The Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one and what voluntary organizations exist to help you rehabilitate afterwards.

The Guide even tells you how you can mix one yourself.

Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit, it says.

Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V — Oh that Santraginean sea water, it says. Oh those Santraginean fish!!!

Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).

Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.

Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle sweet and mystic.

Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.

Sprinkle Zamphuor.

Add an olive.

Drink ... but ... very carefully ...

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Encyclopedia Galactica.
by MTCaptain August 15, 2006
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Hitchslap

A martial art technique pioneered by the late Master Hitchens, aka The Flying Fist of Invective.
In abject humiliation, The Reverend Hidebound-Ignorant lay decked out on the pee-stained and bloodied floor. After the Hitchslap his position on the matter was now patently clear: it was horizontal.
by dejafu April 5, 2012
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the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

It's a book.
by Cellist December 23, 2003
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