Optimist: "The glass is half full."
Pessimist: "The glass is half empty."
Engineer: "The glass is twice the size it needs to be."
Pessimist: "The glass is half empty."
Engineer: "The glass is twice the size it needs to be."
by Destillat July 04, 2006
You: "Hey, wait here, I'mma go take a dump."
Friend: "Alright."
*5 minutes later*
Friend: "Dude..I was playing guitar with your amp and I noticed a parasitic capacitance between the output and the input, causing parasitic oscillation. So I really quickly soldered them a little further from eachother, so it shouldn't have any feedback anymore."
You: "Oh...uhhh... thanks?"
Friend: "Hey, I'm an engineer. It's what I do."
Friend: "Alright."
*5 minutes later*
Friend: "Dude..I was playing guitar with your amp and I noticed a parasitic capacitance between the output and the input, causing parasitic oscillation. So I really quickly soldered them a little further from eachother, so it shouldn't have any feedback anymore."
You: "Oh...uhhh... thanks?"
Friend: "Hey, I'm an engineer. It's what I do."
by IsraelHands09 September 16, 2010
A kick-ass uber-genius with godly math and science abilities, the training for wich being at the expence of those abilities for spelling and talking to members of the opposite sex.
by Douglas Weltman June 23, 2003
The guy wearing the white shirt with the pocket protector leaning against the backhoe is an engineer. He could describe in great detail how that backhoe works but could not drive it to save his life.
by Tom Stillin November 19, 2012
Drinks their way through college for at least four years, playing computer games, smoking pot, masturbating and never having sex, ever. Learns the theory for incredibly complex subjects within one relatively sober week of the exams. Studies one particular subject in another sober week to get a really fancy sounding job that is 1% challenging and 99% telling a technician to press the reset button. Makes a lot of money for doing that and then, of course, starts having a lot of sex.
Gets really annoyed if people don't optimize space utilization when filling a dishwasher.
Knows what every single cable behind your TV is for.
Has a hammer, duct tape, and cable ties close at all times, but is not necessarily a serial killer. Although engineers make great serial killers.
Gets really annoyed if people don't optimize space utilization when filling a dishwasher.
Knows what every single cable behind your TV is for.
Has a hammer, duct tape, and cable ties close at all times, but is not necessarily a serial killer. Although engineers make great serial killers.
Interviewer: So what do you know about spectroscopic ellipsometry?
Engineer: Spectroscopic ellipsometry employs broad band light sources, which"..... *15 minutes later*.... and thus the film properties are characterized.
Boss: Welcome to the team, you'll be looking after all these machines
Engineer: I look forward to the challenge
Technician: Hey this machine is messed up
Engineer: Press the reset button
Technician: OK it's working now
Engineer: Sweet *Returns feet to desk*
Engineer: Spectroscopic ellipsometry employs broad band light sources, which"..... *15 minutes later*.... and thus the film properties are characterized.
Boss: Welcome to the team, you'll be looking after all these machines
Engineer: I look forward to the challenge
Technician: Hey this machine is messed up
Engineer: Press the reset button
Technician: OK it's working now
Engineer: Sweet *Returns feet to desk*
by Barsemaster February 27, 2012
A talented individual responsible for the design and creation of all man-made objects in the known universe, as opposed to a scientist who attempts to make new discoveries about the universe. Engineers do not do much in the way of manual labour; those tasks are allocated to skilled tradesmen. Engineers are involved in the design of everything from oil tankers to staple removers.
For example, a scientist in a lab may discover a new metal with certain properties. An engineer would then take this material, incorporate it into a design, where a welder would then implement it into the machine/device.
Society depends on engineers with their lives just as much as they depend on medical professionals. It is the responsibilty of an engineer to make sure a bridge will stay up, a car will drive straight, and that planes will remain airborne.
Engineering is broken down into many streams. Mechanical engineers would be involved with things in motion, such as a car, or jackhammer. A civil engineer would design bridges and buildings, and other static structures. There are many more streams, which I will not list here.
Often, people without any engineering credentials will append the word "engineer" to their job title. This is because there is a sense of importance attached to the word. Practising engineering without proper certification can get a person sued by a lot of people very quickly.
Engineering is also a term used to describe an action that is similar in nature to engineering, albeit in a non-professional manner. An example of this would be a "social engineer," which is a person that would do something like use a friend's computer to MSN another friend, and start insulting themselves in order to see what that person will say about them.
For example, a scientist in a lab may discover a new metal with certain properties. An engineer would then take this material, incorporate it into a design, where a welder would then implement it into the machine/device.
Society depends on engineers with their lives just as much as they depend on medical professionals. It is the responsibilty of an engineer to make sure a bridge will stay up, a car will drive straight, and that planes will remain airborne.
Engineering is broken down into many streams. Mechanical engineers would be involved with things in motion, such as a car, or jackhammer. A civil engineer would design bridges and buildings, and other static structures. There are many more streams, which I will not list here.
Often, people without any engineering credentials will append the word "engineer" to their job title. This is because there is a sense of importance attached to the word. Practising engineering without proper certification can get a person sued by a lot of people very quickly.
Engineering is also a term used to describe an action that is similar in nature to engineering, albeit in a non-professional manner. An example of this would be a "social engineer," which is a person that would do something like use a friend's computer to MSN another friend, and start insulting themselves in order to see what that person will say about them.
I wonder which engineer developed the night vision for Paris Hilton's video.
Aerospace engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
Boy: The sanitary engineer came to my place early this week.
Girl: Yah, those garbage truck drivers are so unpredictable!
Aerospace engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
Boy: The sanitary engineer came to my place early this week.
Girl: Yah, those garbage truck drivers are so unpredictable!
by Craig Reyenga March 06, 2005