"Dude, you hear Bob's gf broke up with him last night before sex?"
"Yeah, he's probably in a crysterbate session right now."
"Yeah, he's probably in a crysterbate session right now."
by Zokwhat April 28, 2014
Get the crysterbate mug.1)When you are sad and horny at the same time, you crysterbate. Crying while jerking it.
2)Christerbate same as crysterbate but doing a Jesus Christ pose.
2)Christerbate same as crysterbate but doing a Jesus Christ pose.
by Evan Bahler February 2, 2020
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Crystex
• crysterbate
• crystelle
• Crysterbation
• Cryptex
• Crysexual
• crystel
• crystella
• crysten
• Cystex
Cystexi is the nicest most amazing caring person in the world cystexi. She is the prettiest person i’ve ever seen😞
“wow…your so nice, you remind me of cystexi.”
“who is cystexi?”
“the most amazing person you’ll ever meet…”*heart eyes*
“who is cystexi?”
“the most amazing person you’ll ever meet…”*heart eyes*
by cystexi September 25, 2021
Get the Cystexi mug.Portrayed accurately in Little Ashes by Robert Pattinson when his gay lover hooks up with the girl he loves while he is in the room (confused yet? Don't be, basically Robert Pattinson is incapable of playing a character that questions his sexuality) (oh by the way, Little Ashes is an accurate portrayl of Salvador Dali's life, soooo as far as I know, Salvador Dali is the only case of crysterbation in mass media. More win for surrealists) "I thought he was simply crying in his room until he ran out of breath and I heard something else; he was clearly crysterbating."
by Salvador Dali win December 23, 2010
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Verb: To Crysterbate
Cry-sterbating is when a guy stands in a corner, crying using his own tears as lube while he jerks off sobbing, nuts into a teaspoon, drinks the nut because he's low on zinc, and then sits in the fetal position rocking back and forth wondering "When the hell did my life get so depressing?" Then he remembers and does it all again. Just like shampoo directions, rinse, wash, and repeat.
Billy: Wheres Dillon?
Josh: He's probably at home cry-sterbating again
Cry-sterbating is when a guy stands in a corner, crying using his own tears as lube while he jerks off sobbing, nuts into a teaspoon, drinks the nut because he's low on zinc, and then sits in the fetal position rocking back and forth wondering "When the hell did my life get so depressing?" Then he remembers and does it all again. Just like shampoo directions, rinse, wash, and repeat.
Billy: Wheres Dillon?
Josh: He's probably at home cry-sterbating again
Dillon tends to crysterbate instead of masturbating because his life is so fucked up. Plus he's low on zinc.
by Trip Wilson May 30, 2017
Get the Crysterbate mug.by jarnzy November 29, 2010
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