Church

1. A group of people that claim to be Christians when in reality they aren't.
2. A group of people that gossip about each other behind their backs.

1. "yes I'm a Christian and go to church all the time. I also cheat on my wife with the piano player."
2. "did you hear that our pastor is having an affair?"
"OMG! Really?!"

by Betrayed by you January 9, 2010

Church

The best pyramid scheme of all time. The whole idea started about 4000 years ago when some religious hustlers found out how profitable human stupidity can really be. Since then, this long-con has only gotten larger. It continues to survive by indoctrinating it's members in as children, and brainwashing them into ignorant submission. After completely destroying their common sense, the members are ordered to recruit more people. They're encouraged to invite friends, family, coworkers, and even strangers to come join up. Knock on doors, put up signs, hold rallies, whatever it takes to get more followers. They seduce these unknowing individuals by promising them everlasting life, good fortune, spiritual healing, divine truth, and much much more. By methods of guilt-tripping, coercion, and verbal sleight of hand, they convince these newbies to forfeit 10% of their salary. But don't think the church is done there. Far from it. Clergymen also have the right to be tax exempt, have a say in politics, assfuck your kids, receive free housing, and receive thousands from charities and donations.

The Johnson family goes to church because they're a pack of ignorant sheeple.

by Moosifer821 December 28, 2020

Church

The worst place to:

1. randomly laugh out loud

2. take a snooze

3. take a poo
4. wear flip flops

Church is the worst place to drop a verse,

One thing I didn’t mention until it’s my intention,

I let it and get it, never forget it, regret it,

It can’t possibly be worse, it’s terse,

Have fun and go to church, peace out!

by zinc_47 February 1, 2018

Church

The fucked up thing about going to church is one of the main figures of Christianity is a Jewish guy, which never made much sense. It's not a matter of one religion being right and the other one wrong, but it's something you notice, that one of the main figures of the religion, though he was called Christ in name, was never a Christian himself.

If a main figure in Church was Buddha, more people would be skeptical about religion, but Jesus is someone they think looks like them, so he's one of them.

by Solid Mantis February 12, 2021

Church

A place where you pray to the LORD so the LORD can forgive your sins.
read the bible and give your trust to Jesus Christ
Jesus is coming soon.

also I don't know much about church nor about Jesus/God/Holy Spirit I only know a little bit about them

I don't know what to do for an example ;-;
church is a place where your sins are forgiven by the LORD?

by AkemiDoesn'tMakeSense December 14, 2020

Church

That strange place in your town that everyone believes people should go to, but no one actually goes to.

Guy: Hmm, today is Easter. Should I go to church or go buy my girlfriend something? Nah, I think I'll just sleep in.

by BusinessMan February 6, 2005

Church

A place were a cult with pedofiles as leaders are staying over a longer period of time.

Anne: Have you been to church resently
Anna: No i dont belive in fairy-tales like the bible

by RailMe September 29, 2020