Date-Time Continuum

A span of time in the future equal to the current length of a relationship. For a relationship 6 months long, the Date-Time Continuum's event horizon lies 6 months in the future.

Violating the Date-Time Continuum by making plans beyond the event horizon is ill-advised and stands to cause the relationship to explode in a dazzling supernova of animosity or collapse into a blackhole of mutual loathing.

Ted: "Stella and I are going to her sister's wedding in 6 months"

Barney: "Wait, how long have you and Stella been dating?"

Ted: "3 months"

Barney: "Dude, bad idea. You can't make any plans with Stella for anything more than 3 months in the future. Don't risk violating the Date-Time Continuum."

by Kamputer July 20, 2010

Cuntainer

Female Genitalia.

Kevin wanted to put his lunch into someone's cuntainer.

by mzpinklabel May 2, 2009

Contingency plan

Noun: A plan saved for the worst case scenario, or a backup plan.

According to Sarge from the popular web series Red Vs. Blue, what a shotgun to the face could be considered.

Griff: "And if the plan doesn't work?"
Sarge: "I've got a contingency plan."
Griff: "A shotgun to the face is not a contingency plan. I keep telling you that."
Sarge: "Of course it is! Just look how well it works for insubordination!"

by N00berson McGee December 26, 2011

contadine

is a word that isn't as raunchy as it sounds. It means an Italian peasant girl, but will probably never again come up in civilized conversation unless you are in the opperetta, The Gondoleirs.

Pronounced: con tuh deen ay

Gondoliers: Signorine io tammo!
Contadine: Contadine Siamo :(

by nonyo Binness March 14, 2008

Amaris (continued)

Amaris likes to experiment and shake things up and she might do so in changing up her hair or learning a new skill. She can sometimes come off as easy-going but usually she has a set goal and when she puts her mind to something there's no stopping her-once started she must finish it! She gets good grades and is not genius level smart but is still pretty smart, and she knows it. Still she doesn't go around bragging. Amaris is beautiful and making her happy makes you happy. A lot of people take Amaris for granted because she's a reliable friend and will never stab you in the back. Ever. So if you have an Amaris in your life, make sure she knows how much you really appreciate her.

Amaris (continued)
Girl 1: Amaris is so good at that and she only started last week!
Girl 2: That's because she's so determined!!

Girl 3: You can trust Amaris- she'd never tell your secrets.
Girl 4: She's so nice.

by SlurpNugget November 22, 2019

tune contamination

when someone who has a tune infection regrettably shares it with you, thus infecting you as well.

Alvin: "wow, I've got that horrible Carley Simon song stuck in my head...you know the one that goes; 'you're so vein, i bet you think this song is about you', it's driving me crazy..."

Theresa: "wow...thanks a lot for the tune contamination!"

by sandspit April 11, 2010

masturbatory contingency

The natural mental ability all people possess that allows them to quickly and dynamically assess the situation and environment they are in to decide whether or not it is practical to masturbate at the exact moment in time.

My mother wasn't due to be back home for another 10 minutes, so I thought I'd slip in a quick wank. However, masturbatory contingency told me that it wasn't worth taking any chance of her walking in on me.

by Scekhcsy Foxmonk August 8, 2010