Beached whale

Also known as Desi. A large goober-headed she/male with a body that resembles a trash bag filled with mango pulp. It's face is the spitting image of a bulldog, and like a bulldog, desi will hump anything with, or without, a pulse. Smells like a sun-dried tuna fish, and close sources say it is so womped it looks like a Picasso down there. Stay away from the desi. It might sit on you, or eat you. It's unpredictable.

This beached whale is just another reminder that accidents DO happen and some people should put a condom on it.

by TheObsure February 18, 2015

beached whale

The act of taking a shit on the toilet seat and missing the toilet completely.

I was so drunk that I left a beached whale in your bathroom last night.

by spo April 7, 2005

Beached Whale

A fatt-ass bitch that has been put out the pasture

Charlene B Is A Beached Whale

by 123 January 13, 2005

Beached whale

When a large fat woman goes so long without sex that she'd physically dried up.
Like a beached whale!

"Dude, your moms a total beached whale"
"She gets more than you know.."
"From who?!?!"
"You don't want to know.."

by GAVIN ELMO January 13, 2009

Beached whale

a young man, who is short, fat, ugly, had black curly hair, resembles a whale but is human, tends to lay on the beach as if he is washed up on shore and responds to the name ZG.

wow, did you see beached whale today?
No. but his mom june was looking pretty fine.

by ad991223 November 17, 2009

beached whale

when flushing a huge log the water swirls down into the hole, but the poo does not....leaving the log "beached" on the bottom of the bowl

" i dropped a giant deucer this morning and left a beached whale"

by drewford September 14, 2005

Beached Whale

The beached whale is a term given for a fat or otherwise unattractive person that hits on you at a bar or club and, despite your disinterest or general disgust, this person will try multiple attempts on you, and follow you around.

"i was out last night and this whale totally beached on me."

or

"where were you? there's two hotties wanting to buy us drinks."
"ugh, sorry. beached whale wouldnt get off me."

by tboners January 4, 2012