Jersey in a nutshell, “fuh” starters
people dislike “arrr” accents.
People who are “Joisey” born and raised (No one says “joisey”, it’
s “jurzee”) they have accents that may make them say “cawfee” or “dawg”, this is local flavor. Would you want every part of the country to sound the same? I’d want to go to
Wisconsin and hear “
Oh Shore
Bud” so when I’m in Jersey I want to hear “Yo, how much fuh dem shewz”. Regions are boring without their local stuff. New Jerseyans are blunt, rude, loud, and
short fused. But that’s just because we don’t know you yet. Catch us at a pizzeria or a “hoagie”,”cawfee”, or “baygal” shop, and we’ll be better. We go to Rutgers only and
yes we’re upset that the Nets were moved from Jersey, no we don’t care about the Jersey Devil, or the Devils
hockey team, that’s just pamphlet “gawbage”. (That’s Brooklyn) don’t you dare confuse us with that vile borough. At least you didn’t confuse us with Staten Island. *Shivuh down my “spooiine”* NJ is one of the safest places in the country, “jus” avoid Newark, Camden, Trenton, or Atlantic City. Well Maybe AC. If you go there don’t play any rap
music loudly, unless it’s Meek Mill, or anything drill. You can go to the diners speckled around the state, and we take them seriously. Everyone goes to the mall for literally every other thing we buy.
Maybe you can buy a bathing suit to go to the “shore”, pronounced “shore”, and sure is pronounced “shore” as well, no it’s not confusing, and
yes, you
will see fake tans, dyed
dark red weaves, and girls with hoop earrings. And
don’t “fuhgit” about our poorly placed rose tattoos that lie behind our ears, or where you shouldn’t be looking. In New Jersey everyone is on their way to somewhere else, and you’ll get “chuh” “fillins” hurt if you drive the speed limit on any turnpike. Our roads are better than in “dirty asz new york”, and “bumpy asz philly”. And most of us aren’t italian, and no none of us want to be, and
yes we think an hour drive is too “lawg”. We don’t pump “arr” own
gas, you peasants. NJ is unique and if you live here it’s mostly like a lot of other places, but if look closely you can see that you get Yom Kippur off from school, and the state is dense
af. Our weather is balanced, great theme parks, malls, authentically imported
food, the “f’
n” board”wawk” “fuh” “cryin” out loud. Oh yea, and
fuck the Jersey Shore tv show.
