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douche bag

an annoying room mate who makes stupid jokes and quotes Seinfeld. laughs loudly at the wrong time. makes jokes and comments about you but gets pissed off and cries when you do it to him. takes his computer into the bathroom late at night for extended periods of time and claims "I was playing chess". Talks to his obese girlfriend who he met on Myspace and dated for three months and now plans on marrying her when you're trying to sleep. Pulls down his beat sheet when he knows you're right but doesn't want to admit it. Listens to annoyingly gay music loudly and tries to sing but he really sucks. Not just at singing but at everything. Thinks he's really great when everyone around him thinks he a complete loser. His belief of the afterlife is exploring the universe. Basically anyone like my old roommate.
my old room mate was such a douche bag. good thing he moved out
by everyday balloons January 13, 2010
mugGet the douche bagmug.

douche-esque

Someone(s) who you think is a complete retard and doesn't know anything about what they're talking about.
My good friends Nigel & Kailey are douche-esque when they correct my grammar on Facebook.
by jenna9887 August 21, 2008
mugGet the douche-esquemug.

douche kazzo

an idiot that talks to much smack...one who is a jackass
Tattoo GTO is a douche kazzo.
Man that guy at the bar talkin all that crap is a douche kazzo!
by Mike la Vaughn March 28, 2011
mugGet the douche kazzomug.

Crooked douche

An individual who far surpasses typical douchery. Usually shifty and shady in behavior. One who usually is emotional less and insensitive to others feelings. They are often also irrational and downright mean.
Yo Jaime your a crooked douche!
by EB1234 November 15, 2013
mugGet the Crooked douchemug.

Douche-T

A T-shirt, primarily worn by douche bags, that clearly defines why the wearer is, in fact, a douche bag. These shirts mag include but are not limited to the following phrases: "free-lance vagina inspector", "im not a gyno, but ill take a look", "laugh so i can see em bounce", "smile if you arent wearing any panties.
-Did you see that guys douche-t?
-Absolutely. In a shirt like that, the only vagina he'll see he will be paying for on the internet.
by kh2507 March 10, 2011
mugGet the Douche-Tmug.

Douche Flourish

Awkward and contrived personal flourishes in written communication as a sign-off. Typically used by douche bags as a signal of their self importance. Mainly found in emails, but also text messages, chat and old fashioned paper letters. Typically take the form of letters or symbols, but occasionally, as with The Artist Formerly Known as Prince, leverage wholly new iconography or imagery.
"Did you see Duane's email signature? "Ci@o" What the fuck is that at sign about. What a douche flourish."
by Burt's Bees Knees September 25, 2013
mugGet the Douche Flourishmug.

douche drown

to wade too deep into your own bullshit and stubbornly refuse to admit it.
Rachel Dolezal and Donald Trump are willing victims of douche drowning.
by Irie Zozobra August 13, 2015
mugGet the douche drownmug.

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