Jesus H. Christ

the name of te guy who made me emo and gave me the gay.

A: Do you know what the 'H.' is Jesus H. Christ means?

A: That's right. It stands for hottie. Jesus Hottie Christ

The following evening, A was beaten up

by urdad.com December 5, 2021

Jesus’ Skin Flute

My first pipe, may it rest in pieces.

Grayson: yooo Preston wake up, we finna smoke, I got JSF ( Jesus’ skin flute )loaded and ready to go.

Preston: alright man lemme wake up

Grayson: hands it to Preston like a fucking retard and drops it.

by Swampass February 21, 2021

seeing Jesus in the toast

to see a pattern of something that is not really there or not formed by your believed cause.

Alex is really seeing Jesus in the toast when he claims that the Illuminati are communicating through magazine covers.

by Citation Puffin January 10, 2015

Take my Jesus

Take my peace or sanity, piss me off, make me lose my shit.

1. She was all up in my face trying to take my Jesus.

Note: can also be used as “lose my Jesus”. Ex- If he doesn’t shut up I’m gonna lose my Jesus!

by Jilly845 June 7, 2018

south park jesus

The one and only true savior. Has a very popular cable access show in South Park Colorado. Is known to smite sinners with a M-4 assault rifle.

Praise the greatness that is South Park Jesus!!!

by sicmyduck June 26, 2019

Jesus H. Christ

An exclamatory statement made to show intense emotion. The "H" stands for Helen, which is Jesus' middle name.

"I just wanna lather myself up with heavy whipping cream and roll around the kitchen"
"Jesus H. Christ, please stop talking right now. Also, the H in that sentence stood for Helen."
"Okay.

by HAMonWRY June 15, 2019

Jesus suffering fuck

An exclamation used only in the direst of catastrophes or moments of greatest frustration. Found to be useful as an all encompassing statement of distress, resignation, or displeasure.

1. Jane was just gathering all of her groceries, paint cans, and Venti Mocha Frappucino from the car when a low-riding, loud muffler sporting Honda Civic passed her at high speed while blasting its high pitched horn causing a puddle-tsunami. "Jesus suffering fuck!" she exclaimed as she dropped her groceries, knocked over her Frappucino, and tripped over a paint can while trying to escape the melee.

2. Jane finally arrived to work 45 minutes late after a frustrating morning cleaning up cat yak only to discover she had left her briefcase at home. *sigh* "Jesus suffering fuck, can't a girl get a fucking break?"

by Suzanne38 October 12, 2008