In the 1980's, Osiris, the great and terrible Egyptian
god of the dead, awakened from a centuries-old sleep to wreak vengeance on the modern, monotheistic
world which had weakened him to a near-
death state. He
set about orchestrating a master plan which would make the
world pay for his defeat. As his first order of business, he called his servant Anubis to his subterranean chamber, instructing him to go to earth and bring back four mortal souls. The jackal
god returned with four souls, which Osiris possessed and named Susanna Hoffs, Debbi Peterson, Michael Steele and Vicki Peterson. With his telekinetic powers, he returned them to earth, where they wrote a song proclaiming the
power of the Egyptian gods. It climbed the charts and hooked many listeners. But the song contained an evil curse, a curse that took hold of the listener's mind for decades on end. Soon everyone was hopelessly obsessed with the song, humming it on street corners and in public restrooms. Even
today, to speak the accursed name of the song spells doom. So be careful; respect Osiris and his assortment of half-
animal courtiers. If you don't, you could be the next victim.
