Someone who takes videos of himself squatting naked on a pie, preferably of the cream type variety, and masturbating much to the delight of his intended viewer.
He's in the other room making a video with a pie. He's a Hoboken Squat Cobbler.
by Yankwood February 25, 2016
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A fetish involving watching someone sitting their posterior into a pie (preferably apple or pumpkin, but this is up to the fetishist) and wiggling said buttocks around in the aforementioned dessert
Jimmy: Yo, did you catch that Hoboken Squat Cobbler video on the Tube?

Chuck: Yeah man, got me rock hard
by cellophanefriend February 23, 2016
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When a fully clothed person sits in a pie (or other cake like pastry) and commences to weep like a little girl. Squat Cobblering is usually engaged in by ugly, bald, middle aged men, who usually have some form of what appears to be mild autism. Said mild autism may manifest itself in an childlike, irrational and downright creepy obsession with baseball cards.
Did you see the back of his pants? He either crapped'em, or Hoboken Squat Cobbler'd a chocolate cake.
by Bob Barr 123 February 26, 2016
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Hoboken squat cobbler is a sexual fetish act where a man or woman, fully clothed, slowly sits into a pie while singing a seductive song. The singing is what differentiates this from other pie-sitting fetishes, it is named after the hometown of Frank Sinatra, who is rumoured to have fathered the act during one of his famous drinking binges at a friends' birthday party. Frank Sinatra allegedly said at the time "Let me show you what we call the hoboken squat pie."
The party was going fine until Jamie gave everyone the hoboken squat cobbler.
by SwampBeast February 23, 2016
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The quagulated pasty sauce that forms in the gooch area while your lady rides you on her period.
My wife had to stop riding me,because the gooch cobbler was running down my butt.
by Jdizzlefromtctx December 5, 2017
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One who cobbles on that cunt (eating that pussy like a champ)
That cunt cobbler really made me ow my wad
by The cock whisper77 May 5, 2020
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The Dirty Cobbler is a three part culinary experience. Part one (the crumble): The base of the cobbler must be constructed, this may involve a number of techniques dependent on resources available. A female base, requires the base individual to refrain from washing her vagina for 3-5 days in order to build a healthy yet fresh crust, that can be crumbled using fingers – dependent on taste. A male base, involves intentionally reducing effort in wiping one’s anus (2-4 days) in order to leave winnets, these can be hardened in direct contact with sun light – dependent on taste. If time constraints prevail both genders may choose the short option of placing a digestive biscuit (cookie) into a plastic bag and crumbling by hitting it with a rolling pin, penis or penises, before placing this in the orifice of your choice.

Part two (the fruit sauce), the other person must eat 300g of Peaches, Pineapple, or Mango 6-8 hours before, then proceed to ejaculate onto the pre-made cobbler base.

Part Three (dining), The completed cobbler is then eaten by the ejaculator, spoon fed to the base individual, or consumed by an interested third party.
Darling, shall we make a dirty cobbler when the Browns come for dinner this Friday?

Yes what a lovely idea, would you prefer a natural or biscuit base?
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