Cramps

Imagine someone taped three cement blocks and four bricks together and sat the down on your uterus and then an elephant sat down on those blocks and then gorillas ripping your insides out and punching you

Period:hey I’m sorry about your cramps
Me:what
Also me:ahjshJahHhhhhHhHHSHSJSJNDB WHYYY
Period:sike

by kucklaoof and my dad knows god June 8, 2019

Ponytail Cramp

The painful feeling in your scalp after having your hair up in a ponytail for too long

"Why are you rubbing your head?"
"Ugh... I've got a wicked ponytail cramp"

by SummertimeSocks January 15, 2017

tail cramp

A tail cramp is an individual whom is the result of the incorrect sperm reaching the egg due to the correct sperm suffering from a tail cramp.
Someone who just isn't right.

"I don't know what it is with that guy, but something ain't right."
"Yeah I know. Tail cramp for sure."

by Resolution7 October 10, 2022

unscheduled shit cramp

A shit cramp that comes from out of nowhere at a very inconvenient time and place!!!

"Hey Ted I'll be right back, I have to take care of an unscheduled shit cramp!!!"

by LillDaryl September 6, 2023

sperm cramps

something men experience that is comparable to periods. poor guys.

‘my girl complaining about her period cramps, while i got sperm cramps’ - dom

‘yeah they’re soooo painful’ - x

by meeeowww3 November 7, 2025

couch cramp

That ache you get in your muscles when you haven’t gotten off the couch for days. Eventually your muscles start camping from the couch no matter how often you change which side you are lying on.

I haven’t gotten off the couch for three days, you won’t believe the couch cramp I am dealing with right now.

by Case Lee January 26, 2019

minstrel cramps

Da assorted painful muscle-spasms dat you suffer from excessive musical-instrument playing, or from lugging around a lute or lyre dat's too heavy/bulky.

While Jaime Sommers was under hospital-room arrest, Steve Austin sneaked up to her window and eye-twinklingly said dat he had "come to serenade her". Da unjustly-detained-and-therefore-very-downcast Jaime then asked Steve if he knew da song called "Melancholy Baby", but of course, he had actually gone there just to bionically bust her out of her room so dat she could travel wif him to investigate her supposed crimes for themselves and try to figure out what had happened in reality and who had truly been responsible, and so there was no risk of Steve's actually developing any minstrel cramps, since he never ended up strumming a note on any stringed instruments.

by QuacksO June 18, 2023