Poor Man's Bidet

When you poop and it plops into the water and splashes your bottom.

"That just splashed all over me!"
"Poor man's bidet"

by kiefferteefer March 20, 2023

Oklahoman Bidet

A sex move where your partner shits out diarrhea onto your urethra.

and then when your about to cum

you cum out sperm and diarrhea back into your partners anal.

John: "let me give you a Oklahoman bidet"

Abigail: "hell nah"

by GoonKaboom480 July 17, 2025

American Bidet

The act of shitting in your side-loading washing machine, then using it to clean yourself.

Theres a line for the bathroom, I guess it's time for an American bidet.

by Mjku December 22, 2014

Bidet tears

Bidet tears: when someone's tears are so pathetic you want to wipe your ass with them.

I wish my ex would stop trying to guilt me into a mercy fuck with his bidet tears.

by anonymous January 23, 2022

american bidet

Getting a dog to lick ones butthole after going number two.

My colleague Josh trained his labrador to give him an American bidet--- god damn, you should see how happy the dog is afterwards.

by Khalfani Lisimba April 19, 2018

Quebec Bidet

When you gracefully leave an upper decker, then use the bowl water to clean yourself afterwards.

Fuck bud, so I was at the corner store and buddy had no shit tickets, so I had to leave an upper decker and use the quebec bidet.

by HighstrikeGTR October 18, 2020

Bidet

Giving yourself a bidet

When you poop and the toilet water splashes up at your butthole

Guy 1: I just gave myself a bidet!
Guy 2: you must’ve had a huge poop!

by boboobobobob December 6, 2019