pernicious assistance

Help provided against the will of the provider and/or recipient
The grocery store bagger, in a fine display of pernicious assistance, quickly jammed my groceries into the paper bag, despite my saying "no thanks," as I finished paying the cashier. "It's my job, ma'am," his mouth said, as his eyes told me to get out of the way of the rest of the line.
by Pernicious Assistant November 10, 2021
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Pernicious Assistance

Help provided against the will of the recipient and/or giver
The grocery store bagger, in a fine display of pernicious assistance, quickly jammed my items into the bag, despite my saying "no, thanks" as I paid the cashier. "It's my job, ma'am," said his mouth, as his eyes told me to stop blocking the line.
by Pernicious Assistant November 10, 2021
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Agent's Assistant

A person who can't seem to know their life purpose no matter how many times they try to look at it.
My agent's assistant is dumb. She want's so much money, her ass can't even make a dime without me!
by WhoKares June 13, 2020
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re-insertion assistant

An observer and/or participant in an intercourse session --- often the "second" guy/girl in a threesome --- who is tasked with promptly tucking the dude's randomly-swaying woodie back into the chick's love-tunnel whenever it accidentally pops out from his having unintentionally withdrawn it a bit too far prior to his next thrust; this relieves the lovers from irritating pauses in their steamy copulating to semi-blindly fumble back there themselves and re-insert the errant schlong each time.
Finding a willing re-insertion assistant is usually quite easy --- often, you simply need to approach a random passerby and offer him/her a "standard" reward for his/her help: agree to allow the person "a turn of his/her own" with the opposite-gender intercourse-partner afterwards (or at least a post-session hand-job/blowjob from the gal if it's a male assistant), let the person play with the balls and butt-cheeks of the copulating duo for a few moments after each occasion during the "hot 'n' heavy" when his services are required, and/or maybe allow him to give one or both partners a full-body massage --- extra points if you both also give him a nice soothing rub-down in return, of course --- after the session is over.
by QuacksO June 17, 2018
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Staff Assist

What is called over the intercom when a patient acts extremely unsafe or disruptive at the psych ward and they need extra help to deal with the situation. When the situation is extra dire, a "staff assist with security" may be called.
Roman: "Man, that dude is going absolutely insane. We'd better call for a staff assist!"

Mike: "With security?!"

Roman: "Yes!"
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Staff Assist

What is called over the intercom when a patient acts extremely unsafe or disruptive at the psych ward and they need
extra help to deal with the situation. When the situation is extra dire, a "staff assist with security" may be called.
Roman: "Man, that dude is going absolutely insane. We'd better call for a staff assist!"
Mike: "With security?!"
Roman: "Yes!"
Mike: "Oh no! I'll get the Thorazine then!"
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Eli assist

When playing rocket league, the player gets points for an assist much longer than expected.
"What an Eli assist. That guy still got points a solid 10 seconds after he touched the ball.
by Razosaku November 19, 2023
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