jack me off faggot

used when someone brags about something or says somehitng that makes them sound like a comlete dousche.

I got a 95 on my final. Jack me off faggot.

by deke December 18, 2003

Jack of all offs

A man who has mastered all ways of masturbation. Also has the ability to masturbate anywhere at anytime, at will without remorse.

Tim is a Jack of all offs because he can masturbate with anything.

by Sir Bitchin lots December 30, 2010

Jack and Jill off

A co-ed masturbation party at which the participants, as a rule, do not touch. These parties replaced orgies in the 80's when it finally dawned on the straight community that they were not immune to the AIDS virus.

-"We got our bottle of EZ-glide lube and the Mrs. and I are ready for tonight's Jack and Jill off! Wanna join?"

-"Man no way! That 'no lips below the hips' stuff is boring! I'll take a chance on a real orgy!"

by Trebor1970 December 24, 2008

Jack the Rip-Off

1.) An eskimo wearing pnk pants living in the Saharra Desert.
2.) My fa-der....... yes.

My mom got knocked up by Jack the Rip-off, go figure.

by Darnie April 3, 2003

hotter than a jacked off mountain lion on a hot tin roof

So extremely pissed off that your face turns red, smoke comes out of your ears and you go almost insane

Dave: Hey John what happened?
John: Bill took the last can of soup out of the cupboard.
Dave: That sucks.
John: Yeah, I was hotter than a jacked off mountain lion on a hot tin roof

by 1 redneck15 March 11, 2011

jacking the dog off

The method for feeding the cat when unable to afford to purchase cat food;

Man, I am so broke, I ended up jacking the dog off just to feed the cat!

by D.I.L.F. December 7, 2006

jack-n-it-off

slang for jack in the boxes (in California). coined by some ballers one day after school.

MAN i'm soooo hungry!. I THINK IMA GO MOBB TO JACK-N-IT-OFF.

by chicken-face November 24, 2007