Instead of "retiring" from a career, let's make it something that explains the delight of having more free-time available to do whatever we want. While working, we often have too little of it, so once we aren't working, we are "free-timing" to do the things that escaped us for too long.
by The Insurance Chick August 22, 2025
Get the free-timingmug. Free muff - after an argument with the mrs you go down stairs to get a drink, you come up the stairs and hear rustling, you listen for exactly 10 seconds, you walk into the room and place your water (that's all you have within the house) onto the wind w ceil, you see the mrs wrapped up like a burrito on the cellular device you proceed to then get into bed where you will lay for 2 minuets before you feel her leg rise, now... straight flaps... straight salmon has now touched upon the surface of your soft skin. you begin to notice that your leg is no longer dry.
by thecommingdemon November 24, 2024
Get the free muffmug. by YungPedroThrNegroe August 10, 2019
Get the Sam Freemug. Gummy bears that basically just act as laxatives. Diarrhea hell ensues. They have funny reviews on Amazon.
by LeoTheKilljoy January 6, 2024
Get the Sugar free gummy bearsmug. A good line to use wif a cute chick when ya wanna do something totally "innocent 'n' harmless" like rub her feet, give her a cuddly soothing massage, etc.
Telling a hot gal dat "It's fun, calorie-free, and won't get you pregnant" can also be effective for getting her to allow you total access to her warm softness wif your hands and lips, provided dat you are actually able to "keep it in your pants" (or at least just in her hand or mouth, if you're both naked). Good luck wif DAT, though --- once you get excited from savoring her exquisite flesh, her juicy-looking coochie may look awfully tempting for your painfully-engorged lulu! What you can do in dis case, though, is to either wear a condom or have her "relieve da pressure" manually/orally, and then you can safely thrust inside of her for at least a few minutes before your sperm-glands "recharge themselves" to da point where you would again be in danger of spurting helplessly while you're eagerly "soothing her baby-tunnel" wif your swollen "love-pipe".
by QuacksO December 12, 2019
Get the It's fun, calorie-free, and won't get you pregnantmug. The act of doing something over and over to the point of annoyance; Hence the song "Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd being played on the radio too much from 1973 - 1974.
by schwifty90 May 8, 2017
Get the Free Birdin' Itmug. A delusional disorder typified by Holocaust inversion, terrorism apologetics, and primeval Islamic Jew hate which is highly contagious among Western liberals. Social media exacerbates the symptoms. There is no known treatment.
In my Middle Eastern Studies course in college, I mentally masturbated till my brain turned into a Penistine and blew a hot sticky load of Akbar up my own ass. In other words, I now suffer from “Free Palestine Syndrome” (also known as “Palestine Liberation Syndrome”)
by Helmut_1 October 8, 2025
Get the Free Palestine Syndromemug.