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Dad Jokes

Annoying jokes your dad tells you. At one point you probably thought they were very funny, but not anymore. Now he just tells you them because he misses the old you and wishes he could go back to the good old days.
These dad jokes are very unfunny.

I'm worried about my dad. He keeps telling me dad jokes and sighing.
by MalumLibrum958 September 2, 2022
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California Dad

A middle-aged white male that (usually) lives in a Southern California suburb. They are slightly overweight with a chubby face and balding. They will wear a baseball cap with sunglasses, short-sleeve shirt, cargo shorts, white socks with sneakers. They spout liberal propaganda any chance they get (which is strange because they come off as strict). They are often completely clueless about the world around them, because they will read a random statistic off of the local newspaper about how their community is "the safest in the tri-county area" and they will take it as fact and then lecture kids about how "good they have it" no matter how many incidents of crime affect those kids or show up in their neighborhood. And when it happens they often will brush it off as "kids being kids" because they did that when they were younger so they think it's normal. A California Dad is one of the most useless people you will ever meet.
"Did you tell your dad about how you had a bottle thrown at you?" - friend #1

"Yeah but he just said 'ThAts wHat TEenagers dO!'. To be honest, I think he did that crap as well." - friend #2
"He's such a California dad" - friend #1
by plus-size albert December 29, 2020
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Band Dad

Middle aged men (sometimes women a.k.a. Band Mom) that are handy with tools and building. Typically has a child enrolled in marching band, drumline, color guard, drum corps, etc. Typically volunteers to build props, but may take on other tasks such as towing trailers, mixing Gatorade, etc.
Why did you bring your drill to rehearsal?

- I'm going to band dad and help finish the props this weekend.
by ztothex August 21, 2022
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Dad

the most asshole person I know and also the one who doesn't care and hits you and always is yelling at you, you know those ones, the ones where you get nervous whenever he is even just in the same room as you as you hope he doesn't take away your right to goddamn CLOSE YOUR DOOR JUST SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO SEE HIM
by Sue froppy May 10, 2019
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ur dad

a comeback for when someone says literally anything to you
CC; "Hey carol, what did u do last night?"
CC; "Ur dad"
by syndey12345 June 10, 2022
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Dad

A person that left your life when you were a kid
My dad never came home with the milk,so I’ll go look for him.”
by Kitty_Kat08 January 29, 2022
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Your dad

Your dad: A reverse insult
Timmy: What were you doing last night?
Will: Your dad in the back of Walgreens.
by sackboy1678 February 1, 2021
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