When a middle aged (Russian) man heats up an anvil over a stove for 3 hours on 350 degrees then puts his dick on the anvil and smacks it with a hammer. After it is heated up the man hits his significant other with it in the act of sexual intercourse.
Jacob: Hey man what kind of moves do you use in bed with your wife?
Russian: Have you tried the iron-bar? It works like a charm.
Russian: Have you tried the iron-bar? It works like a charm.
by Johnporkconnoisseur November 9, 2025
Get the Iron-bar mug.Discovering not long after having outrageous butt sex, then going to the bathroom from dropping a hot, steamy "deuce" that you're not quite done yet in the bathroom.
by eightrackplaya November 11, 2025
Get the Curtain Call Coffee Bar mug.*plastic rustling noises*
You want half a mounds bar?
Who eats a mounds bar?
Well, I do.
So, you go into the candy store and you see the hundreds of different options and you choose a mounds bar?
Yes.
So, what is it that you like? The Cocnut? The Chocolate?
Yeah both those things.
So, how long have you been eating them?
Well, I've probably been having a mounds bar two to three times per day for the last 25 years.
Gee! No wonder you cant walk, you have total renal shutdown! Your kidneys are swimming in a pool of chocolate and coconut, here, give me that!
You want half a mounds bar?
Who eats a mounds bar?
Well, I do.
So, you go into the candy store and you see the hundreds of different options and you choose a mounds bar?
Yes.
So, what is it that you like? The Cocnut? The Chocolate?
Yeah both those things.
So, how long have you been eating them?
Well, I've probably been having a mounds bar two to three times per day for the last 25 years.
Gee! No wonder you cant walk, you have total renal shutdown! Your kidneys are swimming in a pool of chocolate and coconut, here, give me that!
by ArbysChickenSandwichesSuckAss December 2, 2025
Get the Mounds Bar mug.by Jbart67 December 21, 2025
Get the Blumpkin Bar&Grill mug.The modern day pemmican is a little more protein, than it used to be and the ancient Picts ( according to roman military accounts) ate a fat and dried meat in a pouch, eat about 1 oz as a survival food, and they could track through the sub artic highlands of Scotland for weeks on lichen and this fat.
I wonder if my second favorite proffessional sports compition, strong man competition ever considered pemmican? Your basic nutrition but most of your calories are fat and it is a non stop Keto burn...The Picts held off the Romans for centuries on mostly Pemmican.
Pemmican is a calorie-rich, nutrient-dense survival food from North American Indigenous traditions, made from dried, pounded meat mixed with rendered fat (like suet) and sometimes dried berries (like saskatoon or cranberries) for flavor and nutrients. This high-protein mixture was crucial for voyageurs and explorers, offering long-lasting energy, and can be eaten raw or added to stews, with a shelf life of decades, essentially being the original power bar.
I wonder if my second favorite proffessional sports compition, strong man competition ever considered pemmican? Your basic nutrition but most of your calories are fat and it is a non stop Keto burn...The Picts held off the Romans for centuries on mostly Pemmican.
Pemmican is a calorie-rich, nutrient-dense survival food from North American Indigenous traditions, made from dried, pounded meat mixed with rendered fat (like suet) and sometimes dried berries (like saskatoon or cranberries) for flavor and nutrients. This high-protein mixture was crucial for voyageurs and explorers, offering long-lasting energy, and can be eaten raw or added to stews, with a shelf life of decades, essentially being the original power bar.
by Modern Women January 2, 2026
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