Turd Burglar

Someone who steals your shit to make themselves look better to others.

Jim: "Jesus Dan. Did John just take your iPhone to show to his girlfriend?"

Dan: "Yea. He's a turd burglar."

by A Time Walker September 3, 2013

laundry turd

A pile of laundry that just sits in the middle of your room - no one wants to claim it, but yet there it is

Ok, who left this laundry turd in the middle of the floor?

by McKena10 April 25, 2017

turd hurdling

The slight hop that occurs while on the toilet, aware of the splash your next turd will produce to avoid a wet ass

Guy 1: Dude i had a major dump coming so i stretched out my legs, ready to do some turd hurdling.

Guy 2: Dude im a state champ turd hurdler, never got a drop of water on my ass!

by Captain Neck February 5, 2015

Turd on wheels

A brown panel van that's the same color as shit that it makes people throw up and criticize over the color.

Guess what I saw on the way to work today?

What'd you see?

A big ugly brown van!!

It looks like a turd on wheels!!!

He need to go drive that fucker off the cliff. Either that or repaint it.

by B4dsx August 22, 2020

suboxone turd

Suboxone turd. A massive turd from taking Suboxone. A turd so big it feels breached in the shit canal and deserves a name when it finally makes it’s way out.

Finally delivered a Suboxone turd, time of birth 1:23 am, 23 inches long, 3 pounds named Jessica.

by Addict18 November 23, 2023

nerve turd

A poo you do when you are nervous. Usually occurs before a significant event such as before a job interview or your wedding day.

I did the biggest nerve turd just before I left to go to the wedding.

by MissBear April 25, 2017

Turd Spawn

When a dude manages to find a monster shit in a public restroom and records it for laughs but it ends up getting the attention of paleontologist who think they can replicate the living organism that birthed the atrocity in a lab. Such organism is known as a turd spawn..

Jeff: Yo you see that instagram video of that monster shit?!
Kyle: Yea apparently they think an elusive cretaceous animal layed it now they are trying to revive a replica with it.
Jeff: Sounds like a Turd Spawn.

by Capuchin for Hire October 1, 2023