How Christians Read the Bible

By presupposing it's truth and then create a narrative that is parallel to the text and then accepting this adjacent narrative AS TRUTH... Regardless of what the text actually says.

Hym "And then what they do is believe the narrative that is constructed around the text... In spite of the FACT that it is a manifestation of their own mind. So, it doesn't matter WHAT YOU SAY... As long as the conclusion is that the religion is both true and good. And it looks something like this:

Dr. JeepJorp "Flabbity florbity flip flop! Everyone KNOWS that flabbity florbity flip flop and that = the Bible true and good!"

Sheeple "Hey! I'm everyone! You're right! I know that, I mean, come on. Do you think I don't know that flabbity florbity flip flop? Everyone know it!"

Hym "And that's how Christians read the Bible."

by Hym Iam June 14, 2024

Christian

Legendary, awesome person. Cool, funny, attractive, nice, smart, fast, strong. Its the definition of a perfect person.

"I met the perfect man!"

"Christian?"

"Of course! Who else?!"

"You are blessed

by 1 inch punisher January 19, 2017

Christian Siren

A female who is extremely attractive, but also very religious. Wears a purity ring , but claims she's sexually frustrated . Lures men into a relationship only to convert them into fellow Bible Thumpers . Will always talk to you about religion in hopes of making you more religious/convert to Christianity. She will do things like make out and maybe an OTPHJ .

Stan: "Bro did you see that new chick Janet, she's fucking hot as shit, I'm gonna try to get at that !"

Lee: "Nah dude, bad idea"

Stan: "Why? She's a total 10"
Lee: " Dude, that chick is a Christian Siren"
Stan: "Oh, Fuck That"

by Dr.Vadgers September 20, 2015

Christian

Christian is the type of person to always lie how big that fella is down there.

Woah Christian!Its smaller than i thought …

by ilikebirds346 November 24, 2023

Christian Hoe

A individual who goes through many different relationships with multiple individuals over a short span of time, but doesn’t engage in any activities of a sexual nature with them, therefore maintaining their purity.

Jimmy is such a christian hoe — he’s dated so many different girls but never does anything with them.

by yammerstudios March 13, 2021

Christian

This is the guy that everyone knows and likes yet he doesn't know it. He catches all the girl's attention, he makes heads turn when he walks into the room. He always has his Samsung wireless earbuds in no matter what situation. His mom works at roots so he always has the latest models and their iconic sweatpants. He has an older sister. Christian is usually a good student but the moment he forgets the homework the teacher comes around to see if it's done. He also has a blue or black water bottle.

"I like Christian," said Skye
"oh cool you should tell him"

by pop off kween November 13, 2020

Christian

A kid that will give one look that gives you a autism seizure

hey is that christian
oh shit dont look at his ey- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh

by Papa el Lil Thicc March 7, 2019