shower wanker

A person who says he takes a shower for at least one hour, but actually while he is showering he is casually beating his meat (wanks, gives pleasure to himself).

Yo, Vlad, How long did you shower for in the morning?
Like 2 hours!
You are such a shower wanker, eh!

by wanking December 13, 2016

Useless Wanker

Something Captain Price (Or Gaz) yells in the last level of CoD 4, he yells it when the gunship pilot cant help them

Pilot: we can help but it will take time to get there

Gaz or Captain Price: Useless Wanker!

by Illestemia January 18, 2009

horse wanker

British origin; created in conjunction with the original term 'wanker'. Used to describe someone who masturbates stallions, even within job description of one who collects semen from a stallion.

Other sayings commonly used in the same context are; "Poke in a pig", "screwing the pooch" and "Sticking the fleece"

"Thats John, our new horse wanker. terrible thing that happened to our last."

by RuneBleuRoan April 17, 2007

Wayward Wanker

A person who drives out to the country trying to fuck.

Damn Billy George you slept in that ole cornfield again you Wayward Wanker .

by Homie nigga January 7, 2020

River wanker

Sam loves wanking in rivers its 1 of his many pastimes and really turns him on he may also flash his cock at you if he even has 1

Sam's a river wanker

by Hicklenators July 23, 2020

wanker's depression

After having a wank, realising that the best scenes in the porno clip were further on.

"Hey dude you coming out?"
"I don't know really, I'm suffering from wanker's depression right now."
"Fuck sake. You and your premature ejaculation!"

by RougeRay March 15, 2010

beer wanker

The term given to one who thinks they are the expert in everything beer related. Much like a wine connoisseur, though this arsehole individual differs in the way that they won't actually suggest a tastier beverage, just tell you that the one that you're drinking is shit.

BW: Hey dude, is that a Budweiser you've got there?

You: Sure is man, why do you ask?

BW: Budweiser is shit, all lagers are shit, ale is shit and so is stout.

You: Thanks beer wanker.

by Brian Mumble April 7, 2013