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grooming excuse

Any use of a feeble, or implausible excuse used by someone to escape from a conversation on a mind-numbing, or uninteresting topic for the listener. Refers to someone explaining their preference to 'wash their hair', 'do their nails' or some other such excuse, which would be an otherwise less desirable chore than having to suffer through listening to such a boring conversation.

These excuses were popular in sit-coms, where the lead actor wanted to extract laughter from the audience with the punchline illustrating the implausibility of the excuse being believed by the recipient.
Claire: When I came back with your wine you'd already left. What happened?

Steve: When that wine-snob came over to talk about the wine we were drinking, I had to use a grooming excuse to get out of there.
by WineBusProf February 20, 2015
mugGet the grooming excusemug.

charger excuse

In recent years, this has become a popular cover story for ignoring someone's phone calls and/or text messages. Your phone's battery died and the charger was at home, or you could not find the charger.
Shortly after Bill arrived at the lake, his boss texted him and asked if he could work on his day off. He decided to use the charger excuse.
by WineAndPasta June 13, 2016
mugGet the charger excusemug.

EXCUSE ME, I'M IN NEED OF MEDICAL ATTENTION!!!!!

Line the Heavy from Team Fortress Classic when calling for the Medick.
"EXCUSE ME, I'M IN NEED OF MEDICAL ATTENTION!!!!! EXCUSE ME, I'M IN NEED OF MEDICAL ATTENTION!!!!! EXCUSE ME, I'M IN NEED OF MEDICAL ATTENTION!!!!! EXCUSE ME, I'M IN NEED OF MEDICAL ATTENTION!!!!! EXCUSE ME, I'M IN NEED OF MEDICAL ATTENTION!!!!!" -Heavy
"SHUT THE FUCK UP HEAVY, I HEARD YOU, SHUT THE FUCK UP" -Very Mad Medick
by DemoknighTeamFortressTheSecond February 28, 2025
mugGet the EXCUSE ME, I'M IN NEED OF MEDICAL ATTENTION!!!!!mug.

pathetic excuse

the evies
the evies suck so they are a pathetic excuse
by hahahabeb January 4, 2023
mugGet the pathetic excusemug.

headphones excuse

Refers to your wearing a personal music-device that uses a headset of some sort, and then "blaming it on that" whenever someone complains that you appear to be ignoring him, when of course in reality you actually heard what he said just fine because **the headphones weren't even playing at the time**, but you were merely practicing "selective deafness" because you didn't happen to like what he had to say, and so you did not wish to respond to and/or be affected by whatever he was telling you.
The headphones excuse can also be "used in reverse" in instances where you are being compelled to be present during a speech, lecture, tirade, etc., and you cannot bear to listen to said boring/controversial/voluminous b**ls**t for even a few seconds... what you do, therefore, is clip on your headphone-based music-device that's hidden inside an outer plastic cabinet that you have boldly labelled, "personal amplified listening device", so that the speaker and anyone else present will think that you are just wanting to ensure that you'll be clearly hearing every single word that the self-important gabber is saying, when in reality you are using the headphones to DROWN HIM OUT so that you won't either need a straitjacket or commit mass-homicide halfway through said extended monologue. It's a vital accessory if you're being "drugged as a child" because your parents "drug you to church".
by QuacksO September 10, 2018
mugGet the headphones excusemug.

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