Porch Coffee

Moonshine (or any alcohol) drunk out of a mug on the porch in the morning.

It’s before noon but I don’t want the neighbors to think I’m an alcoholic so I’ve got my porch coffee.

by Bearded American May 1, 2021

Porch Monkey

A person who sits on their porch all day, usually doing drugs or pissing off of it. They also will show off their genitals and on occasion actually go inside.

Did you see that porch monkey? He just flipped me off while whipping a dog with his dick.

by TerminalJam December 4, 2019

Porch-cane

Enjoying a frosty Hurricane malt beverage on the front porch of a dilapidated house or building while sitting preferably on a couch and watching traffic drive by.

"Dude," he said with a grin, "The weather is pretty sweet today, lets have a porch-cane."

by Slippery Nickel April 26, 2008

porch slacker

Someone who is readily suitable for any endeavor, but is too self aware to ever leave his house. A mental block that most commonly affects teen-aged through middle-aged men (and some women) who face anxiety when leaving their house. See also: herb.

Susan: Alonso was so totally stoked for this party, but I don't see him anywhere..
Jake: Yea but he's such a porch slacker, he's probably masturbating to those spring fling pictures I posted on his facebook page.

by EEPERSCREEPERS May 21, 2010

porch grass

Weed-typically smoked on your front porch, cause you don't give a fuck who sees.

I had a rough day at work. I need some porch grass and a beer.

by BearlySexual December 27, 2015

ass-porch

The frequently expansive, region of the body that includes the Einstein-Rosen bridge connecting the rectum to the outside of the body as well as the hyperbolic saddle surface directly adjacent to the ER bridge, that together require at least half a roll of single ply toilet paper to clean after even the smallest amount of feces has traversed the region.

Dad: How’s it going in there? You fall in?
Son: Sorry dad, I wanted to make sure I cleaned the ass-porch but now I have shit all over everything. I got some on my balls, on my fingers, a few globs on the floor and even some on the mirror. I probably need a power washer to get it all squared up.
Dad: Got it! You probably both wiped back and front too much and broke off a piece that was still McConnelling in the ERB.

by dgRonbo April 12, 2021

back-porching

the magnificant art of when a male is lucky enough to be granted the oppertunity to explore the depths of a females poop chute.
also see, front-porching

me: watcha wanna do tonight? *giggles*
dan: mhmm, i was thinking maybe back-porching it baby *grins*
me: okay! i totaly agree!! *bends over*
dan: oh, i fucking love your leaky fish tank *winks*

by Stevie;] January 14, 2008