Someone who is readily suitable for any endeavor, but is too self aware to ever leave his house. A mental block that most commonly affects teen-aged through middle-aged men (and some women) who face anxiety when leaving their house. See also: herb.
Susan: Alonso was so totally stoked for this party, but I don't see him anywhere..
Jake: Yea but he's such a porch slacker, he's probably masturbating to those spring fling pictures I posted on his facebook page.
Jake: Yea but he's such a porch slacker, he's probably masturbating to those spring fling pictures I posted on his facebook page.
by EEPERSCREEPERS May 21, 2010
Enjoying a frosty Hurricane malt beverage on the front porch of a dilapidated house or building while sitting preferably on a couch and watching traffic drive by.
by Slippery Nickel April 24, 2008
In a blended family, these are children of no blood relation fro. A former marriage...a porch kid is a step beyond a step child
by poppy3415 July 02, 2019
(n.) A large melon that is consumed during gatherings in summer months generally in a communal manner on a porch or stoop; Watermelon
Hey Jamal, we gotta head to auntie's because she's cuttin up some of that porch ham for us to munch on!
by Flannel_Patriot May 26, 2022
The frequently expansive, region of the body that includes the Einstein-Rosen bridge connecting the rectum to the outside of the body as well as the hyperbolic saddle surface directly adjacent to the ER bridge, that together require at least half a roll of single ply toilet paper to clean after even the smallest amount of feces has traversed the region.
Dad: How’s it going in there? You fall in?
Son: Sorry dad, I wanted to make sure I cleaned the ass-porch but now I have shit all over everything. I got some on my balls, on my fingers, a few globs on the floor and even some on the mirror. I probably need a power washer to get it all squared up.
Dad: Got it! You probably both wiped back and front too much and broke off a piece that was still McConnelling in the ERB.
Son: Sorry dad, I wanted to make sure I cleaned the ass-porch but now I have shit all over everything. I got some on my balls, on my fingers, a few globs on the floor and even some on the mirror. I probably need a power washer to get it all squared up.
Dad: Got it! You probably both wiped back and front too much and broke off a piece that was still McConnelling in the ERB.
by dgRonbo April 13, 2021
by JusJack May 24, 2017
It’s before noon but I don’t want the neighbors to think I’m an alcoholic so I’ve got my porch coffee.
by Bearded American May 02, 2021