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Progressive metal

Progressive metal is a generally needlessly complicated and unstructured form of music that often makes minimal sense to the majority of metal fans because it can only be appreciated by people with an IQ over 600.

Progressive metal fans often believe they are superior to any fan of any other genre and will generally reject any piece music that isn't at least 20 minutes long with 40 key changes per minute.

Music in 4/4 is like kryptonite to a progressive metal fan and they must be administered dream theatre riffs as an antidote

An easy way to spot a progressive metal fan is to look for the guy who is pissed off at Opeth for dropping the growls yet goes to their shows anyway and yells for them to play Black Rose Immortal. He will also let everyone know that he's mostly there for the support band, who he has known about for ages.

In short, the math nerd of metal
*At an Opeth show*

Friend: Who's that guy *Points at a guy middle aged guy with long hair, glasses and a dream theatre shirt on stood in the middle of the pit looking like a moody teenager*

Me: Oh that's a progressive metal guy, he actually hates this band because their music is too simple

Friend: So why's he here if he hates them?

Me: Oh it's happening, look at him now

Prog metal guy: I HATE YOU GUYS WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO BACK TO THE WAY YOU WERE YOU BETTER PLAY BLACK ROSE IMMORTAL RIGHT NOW OR I'M OUT OF HERE.

Friend: Wow
by Crilbus January 27, 2019
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Progressive (Corporation)

Progressive is an American insurance company. They are the third largest in the USA and also the most popular for commercial auto insurance.
I use Progressive (Corporation) for my auto insurance.
by Spuds33 November 27, 2022
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Progress King

Someone who makes a lot of progress towards getting into a relationship
by Glabgolabgalab December 8, 2021
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progressive ignorance

applying current morals and sociopolitical judgements to situations without considering historical or social context
when a kid says John Lennon is a racist because he wrote a song called “woman is the n word of the world” without recognizing the context and purpose of the vulgar lyric. It’s not that I’m not woke- it’s that you’re being progressively ignorant. (progressive ignorance)
by reneebanana December 23, 2021
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Progress

Using X-RAY in minecraft to get diamonds, iron, etc.
Bro i just made so much PROGRESS
by TfIsJitterClicking April 2, 2022
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neo progressive

whatever it means to be progressive in the us house of representatives under aoc and the squad
i don't know the difference between neo progressive and plain old pre squad progressive
by Sexydimma March 11, 2021
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progressive rape

Anyone with Progressive insure who has gotten into a car accident has felt the pain and mutilation of Progressive rape—being fucked around phone call after call and going nowhere and loosing your insurance before anything is paid out.

Fuck Progressive insurance!
by Bad C dev November 9, 2024
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