newton's bidet

when you are taking a shit and the splash caused by the turd cleans your anus.

newton's bidet is when your shit has splashed toilet water on your ass. oh man, newton's bidet came in clutch with the clean up.

by Seth mithch's friend February 22, 2018

Trail Bidet

When you shit on the trail and your buddy squirts beer up your ass to clean in up.

I had no toilet paper on the trail and had to dump so buddy gave me a trail bidet.

by skidooboyspoopin December 18, 2024

Appalachian bidet

When you have run out of toilet paper and you call your cousin Cletus or equivalent to come and do you a solid and use his stream of urine to clean your chocolate covered starfish.

“Yeah I ran out of toilet paper and I had to give my cousin a call to come and give me an Appalachian bidet to get clean.”

by Loganjaman August 16, 2023

american bidet

Taking a shit and then hopping in the shower and using the shower to clean off your butthole, preferably with a jet setting.

Yeah, toilet paper is a scam. I just hop in the shower and do the ol' american bidet and then use a little soap.

by Jobungus October 04, 2023

American Bidet

The act of shitting in your side-loading washing machine, then using it to clean yourself.

Theres a line for the bathroom, I guess it's time for an American bidet.

by Mjku December 22, 2014

american bidet

Getting a dog to lick ones butthole after going number two.

My colleague Josh trained his labrador to give him an American bidet--- god damn, you should see how happy the dog is afterwards.

by Khalfani Lisimba November 06, 2017

Poor Man's Bidet

When you poop and it plops into the water and splashes your bottom.

"That just splashed all over me!"
"Poor man's bidet"

by kiefferteefer March 20, 2023