tragedy massage

a massage without happy ending - sometimes you just want that but not much options at 5 am in the morning...

Tired and sore after getting out of work around 5am.
See a bright sign flashing "MASSAGE".
I pull up and inquire within....
Madame: Hello, you want massage?
Me: Yes.
Madame: $100 okay?
Me: Uhhh... How much for just a massage? Like, only a massage? I don't need anything else.
Madame: Only massage?
Me: Yes. I want a tragedy massage.
Madame: A what?
Me: A massage without a happy ending.
Madame: No happy ending.
Me: Correct. Can I have just a massage? Nothing else. No happy ending.
Madame: ....... No.

(credit: CH)

by pseuDonym_name_001 May 19, 2015

NHS MASSAGE

When you fake somthing to get felt up /a rub by the doctor....

"Doctor I think I've got a hernia "- nhs massage

by James Sandoe September 5, 2018

Velvet massage

Is the the place where a person can receive great sensual massage. Provided by best therapists in London this is the best luxury experience

Let's relax and get Velvet Massage

by Velvet Massage April 12, 2016

massage slut

When a male goes around giving shoulder massage's to all females claiming to be friendly but in reality is just being creepy and believes they enjoy it.

Guy 1: Hey dude, see that guy over there.
Guy 2: Yea, he's massaging all those girls shoulders.
Guy 1: Yea what a massage slut.

by CptMeep January 6, 2016

Monkey Massage

The act of picking foreign substances off of another's back, much like a monkey.

Hey man could you give me a monkey massage?

by Garfibromyalgia May 18, 2021

text massage

When someone texts you (especially someone hot) when your phone is on vibrate. The vibrations give you a "massage".

I got a text massage from Cindy. It felt amazing.

by saltyconfetti August 7, 2011

front massage

Hi chance.A front massage is when a male, or mostly a female wants the front of her body massaged sexually or non-sexually. She wants her breasts,nips,thighs and kitty massage to have an orgasm or feel happy. Make you you use your tongue.

Me:I sure do wish somebody can front massageme.
Guys:I can do it.Would you like whip cream or caramel?
Me:Both.

by BigBootyQueen1906 March 9, 2016