Turtle

A Turtle is someone that is usually very clumsy both physically and mentally. They are very vhirpy people but they knock over drinks and ashtrays a lot. When playing board ganes with a Turtle they will constantly need reminded of the rules to the point where you feel the need to spaz-moan and start slapping your face in disbelief. Turtles can also be great Ice Breakers as they can withstand constant barrages of comedic mockery from all angles due to their impenetrable shell.

Whilst playing snakes and ladders, Bobby rolled a 5 and went up a snake... Thinking he was only 3 squares from winning, Bobby was pumped.

^Bobby is an absolute Turtle"
"OMFG Dude You are such a Turtle!"

by StrudlePie June 2, 2018

Eating turtle

Term used for eating a vagina that takes a long time to cum.

Kevin- Yo, bro last night I was eating out Sarahs coochi and she didnt cum for 3 hours. My jaw is fucked up

Steve- Eating turtle will do that to you. You have my sympathies.

Girl- Come ova chyea boy and eat dis turtle.
Boy- I dont want to be engulfed in your box for 2 days so.... No.

by BodiesByJustin June 27, 2014

swamp turtle

A gerentocratic member of government who has a reptuation for elitism, dishonesty, and possible clandestine backing from the permanent institutions of state and the bureaucracy, the military-industrial complex, or corporate lobbyists, popularly referred to as "the swamp."

I believe in truth and justice as the next guy, but the only way you this bill passed is by letting those swamp turtles water it down in committee and earmark it with pork.

by supersecretidentity May 20, 2022

butt sucking turtle without a shell

A person who looks like a literal turtle without a shell and/or sucks. Used as a term for someone who is a butt sucking turtle without a shell.

"Yo, Mr. H sucks balls."

"For real. He's a real butt sucking turtle without a shell."

by no one freaking cares February 23, 2022

Turtle

Seen a lot of nothing from these "definitions" of turtles but a turtle is a person who is mentally slow and retreats into their shell when called out on their BS

this turtle had the nerve to lie to my face and act like I wouldn't call her out

by Gamzeelmao February 15, 2023

my turtles

Used as a pick-up line to refer to ones own pubic hair(s). pubs bush exotic turtle hairy

Would you like to go look at my turtles, they are pretty exotic.

by Smokey's pubs March 4, 2014

To Turtle

To wander aimlessly, hoping and praying to find a suitable commode to evacuation fecal material that has been inching its way out of the rectum slowly, like a turtle

I had to turtle myself 4 blocks towards the rock n Roll Hall of Fame praying they had a suitable commode.

by Mike.moffet November 12, 2018