Jake From State Farm

That punk assed bitch who calls late night flirting with you about hooking up in some khakis

That muhfucka who was shot in the ass by my homeboy for callin’ his chick at 3 in the morning, yeah that was Jake from State Farm.

by DVillan October 11, 2020

Jake Leverett

He may be a J name and a libra but surprisingly doesn’t fall into the stereotypes of either category. Although he is kind of a nerd and definitely has two monitors with a rainbow keyboard, he’s nice and has a fat velumptious butt.

I have a crush on Jake Leverett, I hope we move to Switzerland together.

by user213283 October 11, 2020

Jake Piper's first law

The mighty honourable Jake Piper has 4 laws, and his first is simple.

Forget the minus.

Fred: "Ah man I was doing this question and I got -17 seconds, what do I do?"
Tim: "Use Jake Piper's first law, you'll be fine"

by unitybacon October 13, 2020

Jake Piper's second law

Jake Piper's second law requires a bit of thinking.

Infinitely accurate time.

So time could be e^3 days, etc.

Perry: "Yo, what's the time right now?"
James: "Oh, five Pi seconds past 12."
Perry: "Wait, that's way too accurate, right?"
James: "Come on man, use Jake Piper's second law"

by unitybacon October 13, 2020

Jake Piper's third law

Jake Piper's third law is extremely simple.

Just remember it.

Ian: "Damn man, I just cannot think of the capital of Mexico right now."
Rasheed: "Use Jake Piper's third law."

by unitybacon October 13, 2020

Jake Piper's fourth law

The last of his laws, it states:
There can only be three laws.

The law is a certified law.

Connor: "Hey man, I used Jake Piper's fifth law here and-"
Daniel: "Come on man, use Jake Piper's fourth law. There's no fifth law"

by unitybacon October 13, 2020

Jakes

Police. People use this word to look less suspicious.

Jakes kicked down my front door and took everything

by Karinpidh October 16, 2020