jesus take me to the playoffs

When you can’t make the playoffs in madden so you ask Jesus to take you to the playofffs after Jesus floats magesticly down naked and says “if you want to be taken to the play offs the play offs gotta be taken to you” and then you say ok Jesus do what you gotta do and then he says “ good cause I’m gonna FUCK YOU LIKE I FUCKED THAT PIG” *looks at pig * “oh my god it’s in half was it like that when you fucked it” Jesus says “no” then you ask “how long is it” then Jesus responds in a soft soothing voice “ longer than the pig”

I screamed jesus take me to the playoffs and then Jesus floated down and fucked me with a cock longer than a pig

by Long john slider October 17, 2017

take your wig off

Stop lying, stop hiding thing

I didn’t know dating his friend would cause so much drama. Girl take your wig off!

by BossBur September 22, 2018

take a hit make a play

absorbing a minor setback to make a major comeback

commonly used in hockey

Aye bro i’m still on delivered.
No worries, take a hit make a play- we’re going out tonight.

by dryrock0 October 13, 2022

I always take the train

Proper response for when someone says that you "missed the boat"

^ You missed the boat on that one, buddy
> Yeah, well, I always take the train, so suck it

by thurb March 31, 2023

Take your body off

When someone is just acting up. You got to tell them to chill! Take your body off man

Jeffery, you need to stop man, take your body off!!

by Magic4med July 15, 2016

Ivy the animal take carer

Ivy is the best person to take care of your pets. She is extremely responsible and trustable.

“Hey, do you know any one who would baby sit my hamster?”
“Yah man! I know just the person. Ivy, She the best! She can watch any animals! My turtle is so happy and he loves her! Totally recommend!!”
Ivy the animal take carer best animal baby sitter ever!

by Takumi123 November 12, 2018

takes away from the table

Antonym of bring to the table, as in somebody who's existence is beneficial to society, as opposed to someone who drains the communal lifeforce from the world.

<Pointing at a serial killer/pederast/shitty president> That guy right there, he's such a douchebag, he actually takes away from the table.

by yoJERraps! September 24, 2006