Schizo-Wank

Jacking off to a person/character that you’ve made up in your head.

Guy 1: How you doing man?

Guy 2: Not good my man. I’m such a fucking loser virgin that I just had a Schizo-Wank.

Guy 1: Damn you’re down bad man.

Guy 2: Yeah it’s a lonely world man.

by AutonomicAutist July 9, 2024

wank punch

Hitting someone in a manner of which one wanks

Thw man hit so soft, like he was wank punching. Almost seems he was enjoying to much to get hit harder.

by litreb July 15, 2024

Crafty wank

The action of masturbating in a public place, without being spotted.

He would often have a crafty wank under the desk during his history lesson. The other pupils noticed, but the teacher never did.

by DarrenG July 20, 2024

Lazy Wank

When you can't be arsed to use the sink and you roll to the edge of the bed and bash your meat till you dribble man porridge on the floor.

I had a lazy wank last night.

by Tone Leigh January 13, 2023

Wank

A collection of 2 or more pairs of hip or chest waders or hip or chest wader wearers

When all the fishermen got together it was quite a wank of waders

by Docksee January 19, 2023

Birthday Wank

An Evening of Masturbation on one's birthday to celebrate the conceivement of one's self.

Mate: yo man you wanna go out tonight for your birthday?

You: sorry man I'm having a birthday wank tonight

by 69420candice69420 February 22, 2023

Flakey Bum-Wank

A deviation of the Pokey Bum-Wank where a chocolate sweet is used as a replacement for the finger. The sweet treat is inserted into the anus whilst carrying out the five-knuckle-shuffle to heighten the participants' pleasure. This may also be of benefit to those that have to take emergency action to control their blood-sugar levels due to a diabetic emergency - though there is little medical evidence to prove that this will successfully prevent the patient from slipping into a coma mid-wank.

I am feeling particularly horny having left the gym all pumped up and after observing the lycra-clad lovelies that were also working out. However, I have unsuccessfully kept control of my blood-sugars and need to take urgent action. I think I will kill two birds with one stone and have myself a Flakey Bum-Wank.

by normanstanleyfletcher April 5, 2025