Felon's Tree Removal

A colloquial term for an arborist from upstate NY or other back woods place who employs felons, particularly, registered sex offenders.

He first verifies that they are indeed registered sex offenders - or at a minimum convicted felon - and then he gives them unsupervised access to chainsaws and wood chippers. Sometimes accidents happen and there end up fewer felons than they started with, so it's not all bad.

Other times - well, felons with chainsaw... The possibilities are endless, and some aren't so great.

Bro "Brah, where can I get a job? I just I'm on parole, so nobody's gonna hire me."
Brah "Bro, go work for Felon's Tree Removal. They'll hire ya. They literally only hire felons."
Bro "Nah, Bra, they won't let me do anything. I'm a felon."
Bra "The hell they won't! You'll get your own chainsaw, wood chipper, shit, you'll probably get your own shotgun to protect you from choopacobras and parole officers."

by Double take July 10, 2025

Tree Climbin

Stacking your bread or stacking money.

I just been tree climbin my way to the top

by MG Lingo October 10, 2022

fell far from the tree

It means that you're not like ur parents!

I fell far from the tree, I'm not like you.

by Pipe_Brazil November 21, 2016

Tree

TREES ARE CO2 STEALING FUCKS. THEY TAKE ALL OF OUR CARBON DIOXIDE AND TURN IT INTO OXYGEN. LIKE WTF AT LEAST ASK US FIRST.

Guy1: step bro pick up your rubbish, they can kill trees
Guy2: those co2 stealing fucks live off what I breathe out, so imma take what they breathe out, oxy.
Guy1: that give you no reason the leave rubbish there.

Guy 2:

Guy1:
Guy2:

by The guy outside your house December 17, 2019

The killing tree

The timbers reak of hell
Swallowed in the covers swell

Rotting face of death
Sodemized and left to god
The darkest hallows eve
Instincts he can't deceive
Jeffries walking south

Ijeffries on a leave

The Killing tree symbolizes a dump sight

by Dick shaver 1 January 29, 2022

Tree gap hitter

The most perfect human being to grace the earth, these people are the best at everything ever.

You see Jeremiah over there, I think he's a tree gap hitter

by reufcdnuc8ewiurwqerc November 24, 2022

Tree

A person who is very straight. They like soaking up water through their roots. They steal your sunlight. And the hate tree huggers because tree hugger are gay and the are straight. If you meet a tree you have to make a cringy tree pun and if you don t they will drop kick you in the left elbow

Yo you’re such a tree imma slap you

by Bendagay June 8, 2019