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wank

Something (to describe as) bad.
by Vorphy_101 July 9, 2024
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Schizo-Wank

Jacking off to a person/character that you’ve made up in your head.
Guy 1: How you doing man?

Guy 2: Not good my man. I’m such a fucking loser virgin that I just had a Schizo-Wank.

Guy 1: Damn you’re down bad man.

Guy 2: Yeah it’s a lonely world man.
by AutonomicAutist July 9, 2024
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wank punch

Hitting someone in a manner of which one wanks
Thw man hit so soft, like he was wank punching. Almost seems he was enjoying to much to get hit harder.
by litreb July 15, 2024
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Crafty wank

The action of masturbating in a public place, without being spotted.
He would often have a crafty wank under the desk during his history lesson. The other pupils noticed, but the teacher never did.
by DarrenG July 20, 2024
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Flakey Bum-Wank

A deviation of the Pokey Bum-Wank where a chocolate sweet is used as a replacement for the finger. The sweet treat is inserted into the anus whilst carrying out the five-knuckle-shuffle to heighten the participants' pleasure. This may also be of benefit to those that have to take emergency action to control their blood-sugar levels due to a diabetic emergency - though there is little medical evidence to prove that this will successfully prevent the patient from slipping into a coma mid-wank.
I am feeling particularly horny having left the gym all pumped up and after observing the lycra-clad lovelies that were also working out. However, I have unsuccessfully kept control of my blood-sugars and need to take urgent action. I think I will kill two birds with one stone and have myself a Flakey Bum-Wank.
by normanstanleyfletcher April 5, 2025
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Wanking Waffle Stomper

This is when someone simultaneously jerks off and takes a shit whilst also taking a shower.
Yo, did you hear about that wanking waffle stomper Timmy did last night?
by ThunderBunda April 14, 2025
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EW (Executive wank)

Knocking one off at work on company time and hence being paid to do so.
Haven’t seen Ro at his desk for a while, he must have ducked off for an EW (Executive Wank) after we had that chat about boobs
by Executive Shitter May 20, 2025
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