Turtle

CUTE ANIMAL (and might bite ur fingers off)

Me: IM A TURTLE
Friend: NO UR NOT

by PoopyLife101 October 25, 2019

peter turtle

A Peter Turtle is the act of being so lonely that you have no choice but to sit home watch netflix and masterbate using your own tears as lubercation.

Hey Dale did you see that guy at lunch, poor fella he seems like a real Peter turtle.

by Maddog55 October 25, 2019

Turtle

A turtle is a name given to someone who is very slow at everything, or if you just look like a turtle

Hey bro, that guys a real turtle
Yea he’s really slow and he just looks like one
What’s his name, Kman

by Dliw1 October 27, 2019

Pettin’ the Turtle

A situation when one takes an incomplete shit, leaving a protruding “turtle head” behind. The shitter then must pet the lodged turtle head approximately 70 times with toilet paper or moist wipes, shitter’s choice of course.

Mary was pettin’ the turtle for a solid hour after the lunch special at Benihana.

by Daddylongdick813 October 30, 2019

Turtles

something the vsco girls need you to save. go buy a metal straws instead of plastic ones.

Sarah: omg, Jessica is that a plastic straw??
Jessica: I-I could explain-
Sarah: YOU HAVE TO SAVE THE MF TURTLES!!!

by Anji🤧🥴 November 4, 2019

Two Dead Turtles

Something someone will never understand with a couple.

Hey you ever heard of two dead turtles?
No what is it?
I guess you will never know.

by -nuthin June 18, 2025

Jewish turtle neck

When you trap a girl in your closet and fill it will farts and shit till she passes out. When she passes you rape her and fuck her till she squirts.

My girl was being a bitch so I gave her a Jewish turtle neck.

by Agentdukedennis June 28, 2025