Premature mickulation

When you jump the gun and try to act the hero. Seeing an opportunity to get some praise without realising what's going on.

That guy thought he was saving the day because he has been going to the gym but turns out nobody needed saving. Sounds like he suffered premature mickulation

by Crazysteve April 9, 2017

premature ecraftulation

When you are way too excited about a new project and start without fully understanding the process and the excitement makes you basically blow your load all over it and really screw it up.

I experienced premature ecraftulation all over that project I was doing and ruined $50 worth of supplies.

by Jennbec1 June 17, 2017

Premature Abortion

Premature Abortion is unique in the sense that only a man can have one. Premature Abortion happens when a sperm, or many sperm, fail to unionize with a human egg inside a female. This often happens when a female is not present. In most cases, a premature abortion ends up in some sort of Kleenex and gets throw into a garbage receptacle. Commonly, a premature abortion will get washed down the shower drain or disposed of orally by a willing participant. Premature abortions can happen just about anywhere and get aborted on just about any surface imaginable. They can even happen involuntarily while you sleep. There has been research on these nocturnal abortions, but they are still in the preliminary stages.

Douche bag #1 - "I know this chick that will let you have a premature abortion right on her face!"
Douche bag #2 - "Shit! The only action I get is when I have a nocturnal abortion and have to change my underwear upon waking up."

by SmokeTwibz January 23, 2018

Prematch Poo

Prematch Poo, a poo which takes place just before an event, preferably sporting event.
The prematch poo has many advantages including

1) Not needing to piss or shit during the event.
2) Being that slight bit lighter.

This tactic was founded by Burnley FC manager - Shaun Dyche
But adopted by the Italians when winning the World Cup.

Friend #1: "You ran dead quick then mate"
Friend #2: "Ye, I went for my prematch poo la"
Friend #1: "alright'
Friend #3 "Shaun Dyche"

by Shaun Dyche May 23, 2019

Pregmatic

Having to prioritise what you do and shit when you realise you're up the duff for the second time in 2 years and DOH! doesn't quite cut it.

A: Now you're preggers again, be pragmatic, you're gonna have to drop shit.
B: Nah mate, imma be pregmatic.

by prettystoned August 21, 2019

Premature Articulation

When someone interrupts you while you are talking but what they have to say has nothing to do with what you were talking about. Someone who talks out of turn.

ME: My boss fired me the other day because I kept interrupting him when he was trying to tell me what to do.

YOU: Sounds like you suffer from Premature Articulation.

by GD Daddy for Trixy September 23, 2019

preemptive rape

ya gotta fuck the fuckers before the fuckers before the fuckers fuck you.

Jimbo was going to rape Sally, but Sally preemptively raped him first.

Preemptive rape.

by BugginMcFuk February 21, 2021